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Friday, November 19, 2010

Things I Say to the Cat

This is tangentially inspired by Sh*t My Dad Says....
  • Stop torturing it and eat it already!
  • How can you be hungry? You just ate an hour ago!
  • That's a carpet, not an ass-wipe.
  • Yes, I know the dog's feet smell amazing. Now leave him alone.
  • Where's the mouse toy? I can't believe you let it escape under the refrigerator.
  • That's my lap, not a pin cushion.
  • What, I should feed you again just because you threw up?
  • Oh kitty! I have a nice, tasty moth for you to eat!
  • That's a toilet bowl, not a water dish.
  • Isn't it nice how you let me go out in the cold rain to make money so I can buy your cat food and litter and then watch you sleep all day?

2 comments:

  1. AnonymousNovember 21, 2010 at 6:39 PM

    I'm a cat person tho' we don't have any. The coyotes eat them when they're too old to run up a tree fast enough. When the cat howls to go out in the middle of the night, how can you not let him/her do that.

    All your cat comments, I can relate to (which) no dangling participial here.

    bikehikebabe

    ReplyDelete
  2. Square Peg GuyNovember 21, 2010 at 8:53 PM

    Hi BikeHikeBabe!

    We keep our three indoors. With coyotes and hawks on the prowl, and fast cars whizzing by, their life spans would be tragically shortened.

    Thanks for commenting!

    ReplyDelete

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