Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Alternate Advice

I read the “Ask Amy” advice column nearly every day.  Yesterday's column kept gnawing at me to respond with “Alternate Advice.”  Let's start with the letter from the advice seeker:
Dear Amy: My wife and I love the beach. We walk on the beach, kayak and picnic, and in the summer we swim. 
When it's hot, and the beach is crowded, my wife invariably asks me, "Are you checking out that girl in the bikini?"
I always say no, which is a lie she sees right through. An argument ensues, dampening our otherwise beautiful day.
I am in my 50s. I have no delusions of long-term futures with young girls (or anyone else) on the beach, but I love to look at attractive females. I try, apparently unsuccessfully, to be discreet, but my natural instinct is to stand and applaud. I know I sound like a dirty old man, but I doubt I am alone.
So, how can I be honest and not hurt my wife? And can we still go to the beach?
-- Lying on the Beach
This would be my response:
Dear Lying: You're not alone.  First, get a pair of dark, wrap-around sunglasses.  A hat is not enough to protect your eyes from the sun, a lot of which is reflected off the water and sand.  Plus, they'll afford you some privacy from your creepy wife.
Yes, I think your wife is creepy.  Here's a woman who, situated in a relaxing natural environment, is too obsessed with what you're thinking to pay much attention to the limitless sand and surf, the sea breeze, the variety of people.  This tells me that she is way too insecure or she wants to pick a fight with you. 
Here's how I would react.  First I would blatantly admit (without being defensive) that I was checking out the girl in the bikini.  Then I'd follow up with one or more of the following (or something similar): 
“That polka dot bikini she's wearing reminds me of that old song....” (1) And then I'd start to sing the song.
“I wonder if Tommy Hilfiger carries around a bag with her name on it.” 
“Doesn't she work at the library/coffee shop/drug store/church?” 
“Don't get jealous.  She's not at all my type – she's just too old.” 
But then it's important to follow up with, “Why do you ask?”  Not gruffly, or with an annoyed tone, or as a “piss-off” type of reprimand.  Ask with genuine concern.  Because it's a very good question.  Why is she so tuned in to you in this wonderful environment? 
And what's so bad about looking at a woman who is essentially walking around in brightly-colored underwear, which is precisely what a two-piece bathing suit is? 
If your wife's erratic behavior continues or gets worse, mention this to her primary care doctor.  She might need the help of an endocrinologist to treat the effects of menopause, or a mental health professional to deal with insecurity. 
Note that while I'm siding with you, it's under the assumption that:
  1. You're only looking and not actually standing and applauding, nor are you fondling yourself, or whistling, or making lewd comments like, “Ooo, what a piece of ass...”
  2. You're not checking out young girls but rather young women.
(1) Don't try this on a nude beach.

Here's the advice seeker's letter but with some minor changes:
Dear Amy: My husband and I love the beach. We walk on the beach, kayak and picnic, and in the summer we swim. 
When it's hot, and the beach is crowded, my husband invariably asks me, "Are you checking out that guy in the Speedo?" 
I always say no, which is a lie he sees right through. An argument ensues, dampening our otherwise beautiful day. 
I am in my 50s. I have no delusions of long-term futures with young guys (or anyone else) on the beach, but I love to look at well-built men. I try, apparently unsuccessfully, to be discreet, but my natural instinct is to stand and applaud. I know I sound like a cougar, but I doubt I am alone. 
So, how can I be honest and not hurt my husband? And can we still go to the beach? 
-- Lying on the Beach

In this version of the letter, the husband sounds jealous and maybe a bit possessive and scary.  The first step on the road to being a victim of spousal abuse is to rearrange your thinking and behavior to placate your partner, even if you've done nothing wrong.

Ms. Dickinson's response seemed to imply that the husband was actually standing up and applauding.  She writes, "All 'attractive females' know when they're being checked out. Some may enjoy the attention, but even if they do, the last thing they want on their day at the beach is a round of applause from you."  [My emphasis]  And the title of the web page is "Man at the beach gives bikinis a round of applause."  Huh?

The page also features a video with the caption, "Sexually objectifying girls and women leads to aggression toward them, a recent study has found."  Amy, I look at attractive things -- artwork, flowers, cars, architecture, and, yes, women.  It doesn't mean I want to have sex with them.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/askamy/ct-ask-amy-ae-0425-20170425-column.html

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Virtual Walk Through Muir Woods

Check out this virtual walk through the woods to "tap into a deeper sense of purpose and well-being with the first VR meditation of its kind—A 360 guided mindfulness practice through Muir Woods National Monument."

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Wednesday Weigh-In 20170420

I'm not most of this recent weight gain is due to water. The Easter dinner that I went to on Sunday featured only (very salty) pig meat as the animal protein. Well, there's that and the habit of eating ice cream and/or Nutella before bedtime.

Waist = 41.0"
Height = 5' 9"

References:
  1. Wikipedia BMI page
  2. Tanita Scale with Body Fat monitor
  3. Javascript must be enabled to view the data.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Wednesday Weigh-In 20170412

My job has been very hectic lately. I've had no time to get tea or coffee for the past few days. And after I drink all the water in my 24 ounce water bottle, I don't go for a refill. Today my employer sprang for lunch, but all that was left when I got to the cafeteria two hours later was salad. So I suppose that's what's keeping my weight from increasing, 'cause it sure ain't the Nutella!

Waist = 40.75"
Height = 5' 9"

References:
  1. Wikipedia BMI page
  2. Tanita Scale with Body Fat monitor
  3. Javascript must be enabled to view the data.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Wednesday Weigh-In 20170405

Yesterday when I woke up at about 5am I decided to try to go back to sleep. But then when I woke up again at 7am, I felt very sluggish, and I had to rush to get things done before leaving for work. I woke up at 5am again this morning, but I decided to get up and stay up. I completed my morning chores at a leisurely pace. I thought I'd be extremely tired later in the day, but I didn't dose off, and I'm still able to function.

Waist = 41.25"
Height = 5' 9"

References:
  1. Wikipedia BMI page
  2. Tanita Scale with Body Fat monitor
  3. Javascript must be enabled to view the data.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Wednesday Weigh-In 20170329

While taking 150mg of Nuvigil daily, I find I need to drink less coffee or not at all. That's good because I get a gnawing, empty feeling in my stomach when I drink coffee, and I tend to eat more often to soothe it.

Waist = 40.75"
Height = 5' 9"

References:
  1. Wikipedia BMI page
  2. Tanita Scale with Body Fat monitor
  3. Javascript must be enabled to view the data.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Wednesday Weigh-In 20170322

Just an FYI.... I'm no longer on the ketogenic diet, not even pretending. It's so hard to find something to eat when I haven't had time to prepare something suitable and bring it with me. I just hope I can maintain the results I've achieved and maybe make occasional small improvements.

Waist = 41.0"
Height = 5' 9"

References:
  1. Wikipedia BMI page
  2. Tanita Scale with Body Fat monitor
  3. Javascript must be enabled to view the data.