I wrote about my typical morning yesterday, ending the post with my arrival at work. In this post I'll briefly describe what my typical work day is like. But I'll also include the commute.
I live 10 miles away from work measured along the shortest set of roads. And it takes me at least 20 minutes to get there, although 25 is not unusual. A 20 minute commute time over a distance of 10 miles translates to an average speed of only 30 miles per hour (mph). Yet most roads have a limit of 35, 40 or 45 mph, and cars typically travel at least 5 mph over the limit.
There are 21 traffic lights between my home and my work place. On the worst days I can get stopped by 10 of those. That's like stopping every half mile. Nearly every day, I get stopped by a "fresh" red light, which is a light that turns red just a couple of seconds before I'd go through it if I didn't stop. Those are the most frustrating because abrupt stopping messes with gas mileage and increases the wear on brakes and tires. Some days, abrupt stopping is required three times in a row, and that makes me feel like I should let the car coast to get to the rest of the traffic lights. Instead, I often drive a few miles more to take the roads that have the fewest traffic lights.
Anyway, after I park the car, I enter the building and go directly to my cubicle. I take off my jacket, turn on my computer monitor and log onto the computer right away because it takes at least five minutes for the computer to be ready. While the computer wakes up, I take my lunch and water bottle to the cafeteria. I put my lunch in the refrigerator, and then I remember the filtered water dispenser is still in the old building. So I walk to the old building, use the bathroom, and then fill the bottle. It's an empty 24 ounce Gatorade bottle.
I'm a bit germ-obsessive, which means I don't like touching door handles. So I don't throw out the paper towels I get from the bathroom to dry my hands. I keep them with me, and I use them to shield my hand from the door knobs.
I get back to my office. I read work e-mail and then download my personal e-mail and read anything that looks urgent, or important, or interesting. Break time is at 10:00am, but I don't take it, having just arrived. But the technicians take their breaks at 10:00am, and one will occasionally come to my office at the end of break time, 10:10am.
Eventually, I settle down a bit and apply myself to various projects, which can last for months or even years. I'm not kidding. My wife works in the medical field. Her idea of work is that it stops when the patient leaves or when the doors are locked. So she doesn't understand why I might work late some nights even though I got in early that morning. Or why I work at home. So I generally don't bother getting to work until well after 9:00am, and I'll run errands before going to work, because I might not get out at a decent time to run the errands after work and then have supper at a reasonable time. I don't get paid overtime.
If I really wanted to describe the kind of work I do, this post would get very long and very, VERY boring. So I do "work," but I get interrupted by colleagues who need help, which I either give them while they wait or work on in their absence. On most days, one colleague's request will interrupt another colleague's request, so the first colleague comes back and sees me working on something else like the second colleague's work or this blog. I wonder if people realize how very busy I am.
When noon comes around, I take another Iscort and then go for a 1/2 hour walk. But not on Fridays, which is when the company buys lunch for everyone. If you don't serve yourself by 12:15pm, you might miss out either because, A. There isn't enough for all the hungry pigs in our company, or B. Folks bring containers to pack leftovers into, and they start filling them right after they scarf down their eat-in portion.
I come back from my walk. I get my lunch from the cafeteria 'fridge and bring it up to my cubicle. I read blogs or message boards while I eat. It's rather hard to write while eating, but I've done it. At the end of my meal, I take a multi-vitamin and flush-free niacin. I'll also get a cup of green tea to keep myself from becoming drowsy.
The afternoon is like the morning, except it's busier. We have one west-coast customer who calls for a telecon in the afternoon. We put them on speakerphone so that the few folks who are not working on the job can know what they're missing, and be eternally grateful for it.
When it's time for most people to leave, I hear the squeak and shoelace-slap of one of my boss-colleague's foot steps. At 5:00pm he leaves his office and seeks out victims, not unlike a vampire opening a coffin at sunset to hunt. But instead of hunt, he annoys. He uses me as a sounding board for design ideas and to think about solutions to various problems. He is the main reason I do not call my wife to tell her I'm leaving, because when I decide to leave, I want to do so as quickly as possible.
The commute home is the reverse of the morning commute except that it's dark, and I notice just how bright those 21 traffic lights are. I wonder if anyone has bothered to figure out how much money they waste in electricity every year. I bet two houses in town pay taxes just to keep those lights operating, every day and night of every year. At least dim them at night, bozos!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
A Typical Morning
A typical work day in my life is like this:
5:45am: I wake up before the alarms for my wife and child go off. I lie in bed breathing deeply and relaxing, sometimes imagining a blue-silver healing star1 on areas of my body that need healing -- left sinus and hernia, lately. I pet any cats that might be lying on top of my chest or between my legs.
5:55am: I pee, then I head for the kitchen with the three cats encircling me.
6:00am: I right the toppled kitchen garbage bin. I turn on the radio. Then I assemble breakfast for the three cats, dividing a single three ounce can into thirds and then mixing in a handful of dry food. I put their food dishes on the floor and make sure they eat from their own dishes. The most skittish cat is also the slowest eater, and if I leave the room while he's still eating, the dominant cat might scare him away from his food by staring at him. I also refresh their water and the dog's water from the tap. Since the tap water is cold and fresh from having been run, I get tall glassfuls for our daughter and me, and I fill her water bottle for school. I take my early morning pills -- Isocort, Rhodiola Rosea, L-Carnitine.
6:30am: I might poop at this time. I peel a banana and break off the top inch and a half for my daughter, placing it on a napkin on her place mat. Then, while eating the banana, I gather what I need to make breakfast for her and me. Today it's oat bran for me and an Ian's Chicken Sandwich for my daughter. I take one of the chicken sandwiches out of the freezer and place it on a plate and cover it with a paper towel. Then I mix the ingredients for my oat bran in a bowl.
6:45am: I get a scoopful of the dog's dry food and drop it onto his food mat along with a half pill of GlycoFlex for his joints. I greet my daughter, who makes it into the kitchen at about this time. I might heat up water for tea for myself.
6:55am: By now our daughter has had a few bites of the banana, so I heat up her breakfast in the microwave oven. When that's done, I heat up my own breakfast, stirring it a bit more beforehand. I'll get out my supplements while the breakfast heats up.
7:20am: My daughter and I are done eating by now. She gets her vitamin pills and goes off in search of socks. I take her eyeglasses into the bathroom and wash them. It's a nice way to get the warm water flowing from the tap, without just running water down the drain. At this point the dog starts begging to go outside. I'm not sure why the dog has this sudden urge at this time. Maybe it's because it's the end of breakfast so he figures it's his turn. Or the commotion gets his little mind thinking that he will get taken for a walk. There's just enough time for me to walk with him in the backyard before the bus comes. I sneak around to open the garage door, while the dog is distracted by some carrion.
7:30am: I put her water bottle into her backpack. I let the dog back inside. Then I walk to the bus stop with our daughter, and we wait together for the bus, which arrives within 10 to 15 minutes.
7:45am: I grab the newspaper from the delivery tube and head back inside. I put about 3/8 lb. of cold sliced roast beef into a plastic container along with Romaine lettuce for my lunch. But I have an audience -- two of the three cats and the dog are interested in using Jedi mind tricks to get the roast beef to go into their mouths. I drop the fatty bits on the floor for them. But if I'm not running too late, I drop it onto their backs and try to coax the dog to eat off the cats or vice-verse.
8:10am: I'm getting sucked into a time-warp. Now that the hard deadline of catching the school bus has been met, I tend to get distracted more and more by the animals. I might even take a break to photograph them! I get into the bathroom to brush my teeth, do the neti pot, wash, shower, shave.
9:10am: I try to focus on what I need to bring to work and put those items into my bag: water bottle, lunch, snacks, tea. I try to equip myself with my wallet, pens & pencils, keys. When I think I've gotten it all, I put on my jacket and shoes, only then realizing I need a fresh hanky or some hand lotion, and so I end up walking through the house with my shoes on after all.
9:45am: Arrive at work.
1As described in Sylvia Browne's "Psychic Healing: Using the Tools of a Medium to Cure Whatever Ails You"
5:45am: I wake up before the alarms for my wife and child go off. I lie in bed breathing deeply and relaxing, sometimes imagining a blue-silver healing star1 on areas of my body that need healing -- left sinus and hernia, lately. I pet any cats that might be lying on top of my chest or between my legs.
5:55am: I pee, then I head for the kitchen with the three cats encircling me.
6:00am: I right the toppled kitchen garbage bin. I turn on the radio. Then I assemble breakfast for the three cats, dividing a single three ounce can into thirds and then mixing in a handful of dry food. I put their food dishes on the floor and make sure they eat from their own dishes. The most skittish cat is also the slowest eater, and if I leave the room while he's still eating, the dominant cat might scare him away from his food by staring at him. I also refresh their water and the dog's water from the tap. Since the tap water is cold and fresh from having been run, I get tall glassfuls for our daughter and me, and I fill her water bottle for school. I take my early morning pills -- Isocort, Rhodiola Rosea, L-Carnitine.
6:30am: I might poop at this time. I peel a banana and break off the top inch and a half for my daughter, placing it on a napkin on her place mat. Then, while eating the banana, I gather what I need to make breakfast for her and me. Today it's oat bran for me and an Ian's Chicken Sandwich for my daughter. I take one of the chicken sandwiches out of the freezer and place it on a plate and cover it with a paper towel. Then I mix the ingredients for my oat bran in a bowl.
6:45am: I get a scoopful of the dog's dry food and drop it onto his food mat along with a half pill of GlycoFlex for his joints. I greet my daughter, who makes it into the kitchen at about this time. I might heat up water for tea for myself.
6:55am: By now our daughter has had a few bites of the banana, so I heat up her breakfast in the microwave oven. When that's done, I heat up my own breakfast, stirring it a bit more beforehand. I'll get out my supplements while the breakfast heats up.
7:20am: My daughter and I are done eating by now. She gets her vitamin pills and goes off in search of socks. I take her eyeglasses into the bathroom and wash them. It's a nice way to get the warm water flowing from the tap, without just running water down the drain. At this point the dog starts begging to go outside. I'm not sure why the dog has this sudden urge at this time. Maybe it's because it's the end of breakfast so he figures it's his turn. Or the commotion gets his little mind thinking that he will get taken for a walk. There's just enough time for me to walk with him in the backyard before the bus comes. I sneak around to open the garage door, while the dog is distracted by some carrion.
7:30am: I put her water bottle into her backpack. I let the dog back inside. Then I walk to the bus stop with our daughter, and we wait together for the bus, which arrives within 10 to 15 minutes.
7:45am: I grab the newspaper from the delivery tube and head back inside. I put about 3/8 lb. of cold sliced roast beef into a plastic container along with Romaine lettuce for my lunch. But I have an audience -- two of the three cats and the dog are interested in using Jedi mind tricks to get the roast beef to go into their mouths. I drop the fatty bits on the floor for them. But if I'm not running too late, I drop it onto their backs and try to coax the dog to eat off the cats or vice-verse.
8:10am: I'm getting sucked into a time-warp. Now that the hard deadline of catching the school bus has been met, I tend to get distracted more and more by the animals. I might even take a break to photograph them! I get into the bathroom to brush my teeth, do the neti pot, wash, shower, shave.
9:10am: I try to focus on what I need to bring to work and put those items into my bag: water bottle, lunch, snacks, tea. I try to equip myself with my wallet, pens & pencils, keys. When I think I've gotten it all, I put on my jacket and shoes, only then realizing I need a fresh hanky or some hand lotion, and so I end up walking through the house with my shoes on after all.
9:45am: Arrive at work.
1As described in Sylvia Browne's "Psychic Healing: Using the Tools of a Medium to Cure Whatever Ails You"
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Wednesday Weigh-In 20091118
Not much to write except that I wondering what I'm going to do for exercise in the winter when it's too dangerous to walk.
Waist = 37.25"
Height = 5' 9"
References:
Waist = 37.25"
Height = 5' 9"
References:
- Wikipedia BMI page
- Tanita Scale with Body Fat monitor
- Javascript must be enabled to view the data.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Quiz: 38 Questions
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you said? If I could remember that, I wouldn't be quite as feeble-minded as I am!
2. When is the next time you will make out? I'm married. We don't make out. We do snuggle-bunnies!
3. What's a word that rhymes with "LUCK"? Duck!
4. What's your favorite planet? The one I came from, wherever it is.
5. Who's the 4th person on your missed calls list? This is one of those questions that assumes everyone has a cell phone!
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? I set the new office phone to something called "Phasor." I needed to change it from the standard ring to make it different from my neighbors. I needed to avoid the musical ones because when I hear them I think, "Hmm, there's some music playing." Phasor was the least annoying of the non-musical ones.
7. What shirt are you wearing right now? Grey flannel L.L. Bean thingie.
8. What do you "label" yourself as? Freeky Geek
9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing? Ahh but these are slippers. The reason they appear bright red is because they're Lands End overstocks, which means no one else wanted them. And the color is officially "corral."
10. Bright or dark room? Bright sunlight for the plants and so's I don't use electricity to get enough light to read by.
11. What do you think about the person who last took the survey? She's wonderfully creative and considerate.
12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on? The one further from the door.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping.
14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say? Text message? Mobile?
15. What just so happens to be the best song in the world? Maybe Higher Ground, Red Hot Chili Peppers version.
16. What's a word or phrase that you say a lot? Hey, where's the ____ ? (Fill in with ketchup, milk, butter, dog, stapler, car...
17. Who told you they loved you last? The dog, right after I gave him a pretzel and tossed him his squeaky toy.
18. Last furry thing you touched? See above.
19. How many drugs have you done in the past 3 days? Zero. That includes all three varieties: Rx, over-the-counter and illicit.
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? One, but it's so old that I doubt anything would come out. Besides that, I lost it, and I've been using a digital camera since 2004.
21. Favorite age you have been so far? Can I use a negative number to indicate my pre-conceptive years?
22. Your worst enemy? Stress.
23. What is your current desktop picture? The stock windows Coffee BMP file.
24. What is the last thing you said to someone? Verbally? "Lift the toilet lid for him." This after my wife told me that the dog is in the bathroom and that I forgot to bring his water dish in from outside.
25. Do you love someone? There's more than one loved one in my life.
26. Last song you listened to? Some sort of Thanksgiving compilation from Windam Hill.
27. If the last person you spoke to on the phone was getting shot at what would you do? Say "goodbye" and, just to underscore how tactless I can be, follow up with "See you later."
28. Do you do the games in the ads on myspace? No, I don't go on Myspace much.
29. What are your favorite Pjs? Don't wear 'em.
30. What do you do when you pass graveyards? Hope that someone doesn't waste graveyard space on my remains.
31. Have you ever seen a shooting star? No. But I have seen meteorites burn up in our atmosphere.
32. How old do you think you'll live to be? Actually, I thought I was going to die about two months after my sixteenth birthday. So I'm really confused about how to answer this.
33. Your favourite website? DeviantArt
34. List five things you want to do in your lifetime:
1 Write a novel.
2 Compose a choral work and hear it performed.
3 Go snorkeling some place cool.
4 Go skiing some place cool.
5 See my daughter achieve a happy, successful lifestyle. Incidentally, she has my permission to do anything to her hair that she wants, even if it means dying it green or shaving it all off.
35. What do you put on your hamburgers? Here's what I do with burgers. I grill the patty on a George Foreman grill. I drop it onto a plate and eat it like a steak. I might have onions with it. I might sprinkle chili powder or curry powder on it if it's been frozen for a while.
36. Do you eat raw hot dogs? It would never occur to me to do that. Besides, we buy pre-cooked ones.
37. Do you like sushi? Yes, very much. Sushimi, too. Some salmon or yellowtail cut roll is the perfect food!
38. How much salad dressing do you put on your salad? If I can eat the salad with my main meal, I'll omit the dressing. Otherwise, I'll use one tablespoon for 1 to 2 cups of salad, so it'll be a bit on the dry side.
2. When is the next time you will make out? I'm married. We don't make out. We do snuggle-bunnies!
3. What's a word that rhymes with "LUCK"? Duck!
4. What's your favorite planet? The one I came from, wherever it is.
5. Who's the 4th person on your missed calls list? This is one of those questions that assumes everyone has a cell phone!
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? I set the new office phone to something called "Phasor." I needed to change it from the standard ring to make it different from my neighbors. I needed to avoid the musical ones because when I hear them I think, "Hmm, there's some music playing." Phasor was the least annoying of the non-musical ones.
7. What shirt are you wearing right now? Grey flannel L.L. Bean thingie.
8. What do you "label" yourself as? Freeky Geek
9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing? Ahh but these are slippers. The reason they appear bright red is because they're Lands End overstocks, which means no one else wanted them. And the color is officially "corral."
10. Bright or dark room? Bright sunlight for the plants and so's I don't use electricity to get enough light to read by.
11. What do you think about the person who last took the survey? She's wonderfully creative and considerate.
12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on? The one further from the door.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping.
14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say? Text message? Mobile?
15. What just so happens to be the best song in the world? Maybe Higher Ground, Red Hot Chili Peppers version.
16. What's a word or phrase that you say a lot? Hey, where's the ____ ? (Fill in with ketchup, milk, butter, dog, stapler, car...
17. Who told you they loved you last? The dog, right after I gave him a pretzel and tossed him his squeaky toy.
18. Last furry thing you touched? See above.
19. How many drugs have you done in the past 3 days? Zero. That includes all three varieties: Rx, over-the-counter and illicit.
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? One, but it's so old that I doubt anything would come out. Besides that, I lost it, and I've been using a digital camera since 2004.
21. Favorite age you have been so far? Can I use a negative number to indicate my pre-conceptive years?
22. Your worst enemy? Stress.
23. What is your current desktop picture? The stock windows Coffee BMP file.
24. What is the last thing you said to someone? Verbally? "Lift the toilet lid for him." This after my wife told me that the dog is in the bathroom and that I forgot to bring his water dish in from outside.
25. Do you love someone? There's more than one loved one in my life.
26. Last song you listened to? Some sort of Thanksgiving compilation from Windam Hill.
27. If the last person you spoke to on the phone was getting shot at what would you do? Say "goodbye" and, just to underscore how tactless I can be, follow up with "See you later."
28. Do you do the games in the ads on myspace? No, I don't go on Myspace much.
29. What are your favorite Pjs? Don't wear 'em.
30. What do you do when you pass graveyards? Hope that someone doesn't waste graveyard space on my remains.
31. Have you ever seen a shooting star? No. But I have seen meteorites burn up in our atmosphere.
32. How old do you think you'll live to be? Actually, I thought I was going to die about two months after my sixteenth birthday. So I'm really confused about how to answer this.
33. Your favourite website? DeviantArt
34. List five things you want to do in your lifetime:
1 Write a novel.
2 Compose a choral work and hear it performed.
3 Go snorkeling some place cool.
4 Go skiing some place cool.
5 See my daughter achieve a happy, successful lifestyle. Incidentally, she has my permission to do anything to her hair that she wants, even if it means dying it green or shaving it all off.
35. What do you put on your hamburgers? Here's what I do with burgers. I grill the patty on a George Foreman grill. I drop it onto a plate and eat it like a steak. I might have onions with it. I might sprinkle chili powder or curry powder on it if it's been frozen for a while.
36. Do you eat raw hot dogs? It would never occur to me to do that. Besides, we buy pre-cooked ones.
37. Do you like sushi? Yes, very much. Sushimi, too. Some salmon or yellowtail cut roll is the perfect food!
38. How much salad dressing do you put on your salad? If I can eat the salad with my main meal, I'll omit the dressing. Otherwise, I'll use one tablespoon for 1 to 2 cups of salad, so it'll be a bit on the dry side.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Dream: School-Wide Test
I'm a student in high school. I'm in a classroom taking a test. In fact everyone in the school is taking this test. I'm not finished, but I'm bored and want to get up and walk around. So I do just that. I walk right out of the classroom.
After about ten or fifteen seconds of walking in the hallway, a proctor catches up to me and walks along side me. His pale and blond features are in direct contrast to his all-black outfit. He believes that I'm walking to the bathroom, so he's accompanying me, and I'm supposed to walk with him. This is the unspoken understanding between us.
Finally he stops in front of another classroom. I'm confused -- I thought we were walking to the bathroom. But I decide to enter the classroom as if this was my destination all along. Then I see an alcove in the far wall. That must be where the bathroom is. So I walk over to it.
I encounter a friendly blond girl wearing a pink sweatsuit. She hands me a form to fill out. In order to use the bathroom I have to first fill out the form. I have a pencil with one of those wedge-shaped erasers stuck on the end. And that's a good thing, because I can't seem to write my last name correctly. I write it wrong, erase it, write it wrong again, erase it, etc. This is embarrassing.
The girl is nice, though. She places her right hand in my left hand, making it even harder for me to focus long enough to write all the letters of my name in the correct order. I pull my hand away gently to erase the name yet one more time. Then I cautiously put my hand in hers and try to write once more.
After about ten or fifteen seconds of walking in the hallway, a proctor catches up to me and walks along side me. His pale and blond features are in direct contrast to his all-black outfit. He believes that I'm walking to the bathroom, so he's accompanying me, and I'm supposed to walk with him. This is the unspoken understanding between us.
Finally he stops in front of another classroom. I'm confused -- I thought we were walking to the bathroom. But I decide to enter the classroom as if this was my destination all along. Then I see an alcove in the far wall. That must be where the bathroom is. So I walk over to it.
I encounter a friendly blond girl wearing a pink sweatsuit. She hands me a form to fill out. In order to use the bathroom I have to first fill out the form. I have a pencil with one of those wedge-shaped erasers stuck on the end. And that's a good thing, because I can't seem to write my last name correctly. I write it wrong, erase it, write it wrong again, erase it, etc. This is embarrassing.
The girl is nice, though. She places her right hand in my left hand, making it even harder for me to focus long enough to write all the letters of my name in the correct order. I pull my hand away gently to erase the name yet one more time. Then I cautiously put my hand in hers and try to write once more.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Shadow Shot Sunday on the Playground
We're having a very rainy weekend. So here are more Shadow Shots from the same photo session that I took Playground Snake during...
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Running Away From Home
We've run away from home, my wife, daughter and me. I'm referring to our church home of 15 years. And it's all on our daughter's behalf.
Our daughter is a very capable choral singer. She started this school year by joining the school's sixth grade chorus in September with the intention of auditioning for their special traveling chorus. She was undecided about joining the church choir, but we told her that she could quit if it became too much. So she joined the church choir in September, as well.
On Monday she was thrilled to learn that she was accepted into the special school chorus. So she brought up the idea of quitting the church choir, saying to me that it was boring while saying to my wife that she didn't like it.
Usually when we get different statements from her it means something isn't right. So my wife decided to call the choir director, MD, whose daughter also happens to be in the choir. We had to call anyway to announce the resignation. MD readily accepted our daughter's resignation, saying that she seemed "miserable." Well, this got my wife going. "If you saw that she was miserable, why didn't you say something to me earlier?" MD also mentioned that a loud, bossy girl just joined the choir, taking over the group and befriending her daughter. My wife tried to get across to MD the idea of inclusion, as well our daughter's need for a structured social setting. But she was met with infuriating walls of ignorance and indifference. "I was shy when I was growing up," was MD's neurotypical response.
The next day, my wife called the music director to let her know about her dissatisfaction with MD. The ensuing hour-long conversation convinced my wife that this church was not the right place for our daughter. And if our daughter isn't accepted there, then we aren't either. So tonight we've made no plans to have our daughter go to tomorrow's weekly Sunday school or to the church service. And we'll be attending a different church on Christmas.
I don't think my wife actually told the music director that we'd be leaving the congregation. But this is the time of year they collect pledges, and ours wasn't one of them. I imagine that we'll be getting a call from the Pastor (or at least the Stewardship committee) fairly soon.
I have mixed feelings about this affair. On the one hand, I'm somewhat relieved. I've never been reliant on organized religion. I'm content and confident enough in my spirituality to do my own studies and contemplations to meet my needs. But I am personally bothered that I won't be going to some physical place that I'm familiar with -- a home away from home -- where I know many people and they know me. This home-away-from-home is now verboten.
When my wife would ask me why I go to church, I'd say to her, "It's so that if I die before you, you will have many people to comfort you at my funeral." It's sounds like a wisecrack, but I was being completely honest.
I had been a member of the adult choir starting in 1994. At the start of this year I finally announced that I wouldn't be singing with them any more. I write "finally" because of how many years I thought about doing it and how difficult a decision it was. It upset a few people there. But with the new music director's arrival, I felt it was a good time to go.
What bothers me more than anything is that our daughter now has no religious education, which I think is important regardless of one's beliefs. The Bible is the most well-known work of all time in the Western world. To be ignorant of it would be like growing up in the 60s and 70s without having watched any TV.
Nevertheless, it is right to run away. The Sunday school is too disorganized. Children hang out unsupervised in classrooms while waiting for their teachers to show up late. With the low attendance on holiday weekends, the kids sit around to watch Veggie Tales. She'd be old enough to join the Youth Group next year, but it's so unstructured and poorly supervised, she'd flounder immediately.
Frankly, I don't think there's a church anywhere in our area that's equipped to handle special needs children. But we'll have to look and settle for the best we can find.
Our daughter is a very capable choral singer. She started this school year by joining the school's sixth grade chorus in September with the intention of auditioning for their special traveling chorus. She was undecided about joining the church choir, but we told her that she could quit if it became too much. So she joined the church choir in September, as well.
On Monday she was thrilled to learn that she was accepted into the special school chorus. So she brought up the idea of quitting the church choir, saying to me that it was boring while saying to my wife that she didn't like it.
Usually when we get different statements from her it means something isn't right. So my wife decided to call the choir director, MD, whose daughter also happens to be in the choir. We had to call anyway to announce the resignation. MD readily accepted our daughter's resignation, saying that she seemed "miserable." Well, this got my wife going. "If you saw that she was miserable, why didn't you say something to me earlier?" MD also mentioned that a loud, bossy girl just joined the choir, taking over the group and befriending her daughter. My wife tried to get across to MD the idea of inclusion, as well our daughter's need for a structured social setting. But she was met with infuriating walls of ignorance and indifference. "I was shy when I was growing up," was MD's neurotypical response.
The next day, my wife called the music director to let her know about her dissatisfaction with MD. The ensuing hour-long conversation convinced my wife that this church was not the right place for our daughter. And if our daughter isn't accepted there, then we aren't either. So tonight we've made no plans to have our daughter go to tomorrow's weekly Sunday school or to the church service. And we'll be attending a different church on Christmas.
I don't think my wife actually told the music director that we'd be leaving the congregation. But this is the time of year they collect pledges, and ours wasn't one of them. I imagine that we'll be getting a call from the Pastor (or at least the Stewardship committee) fairly soon.
I have mixed feelings about this affair. On the one hand, I'm somewhat relieved. I've never been reliant on organized religion. I'm content and confident enough in my spirituality to do my own studies and contemplations to meet my needs. But I am personally bothered that I won't be going to some physical place that I'm familiar with -- a home away from home -- where I know many people and they know me. This home-away-from-home is now verboten.
When my wife would ask me why I go to church, I'd say to her, "It's so that if I die before you, you will have many people to comfort you at my funeral." It's sounds like a wisecrack, but I was being completely honest.
I had been a member of the adult choir starting in 1994. At the start of this year I finally announced that I wouldn't be singing with them any more. I write "finally" because of how many years I thought about doing it and how difficult a decision it was. It upset a few people there. But with the new music director's arrival, I felt it was a good time to go.
What bothers me more than anything is that our daughter now has no religious education, which I think is important regardless of one's beliefs. The Bible is the most well-known work of all time in the Western world. To be ignorant of it would be like growing up in the 60s and 70s without having watched any TV.
Nevertheless, it is right to run away. The Sunday school is too disorganized. Children hang out unsupervised in classrooms while waiting for their teachers to show up late. With the low attendance on holiday weekends, the kids sit around to watch Veggie Tales. She'd be old enough to join the Youth Group next year, but it's so unstructured and poorly supervised, she'd flounder immediately.
Frankly, I don't think there's a church anywhere in our area that's equipped to handle special needs children. But we'll have to look and settle for the best we can find.
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