Book Review: “I’m Fine: A Practical Guide to Managing Your Emotions,” by Rob Nugen

This is a book written for men, and written by a man describing his life experience.  It's a book that every man should read.  I know that sounds cliché; in fact one of the endorsements says "A must read for every man"

I liked how the book was structured.  Between the foreword and closing words, it's divided into five parts, which are broken into chapters and subdivided into small sections.  I was able to read just one section if I was lacking time, and then when I returned to it, I was able to get re-oriented easily.

I expected to read the first part, or a few chapters, and then post a preliminary review.  And that review would have consisted of what I just wrote previously, plus a comment on how easy it is to read and the lack of typos.  And then I'd read through the rest quickly before "Paying it Forward."

But then I started to identify with the author's life experiences.  This is what went through my head:

I'm not the only one who tried to please everyone.  I'm not the only one who did something foolish while driving my parents' car.  I'm not the only one who endured demeaning treatment from a high school girl.  I'm not the only one who thought "My life is over..." after hearing my partner say she's pregnant.  (Except in my case I said it out loud.)

I started therapy a few years ago.  At the beginning of each session, my therapist would ask, "So, how do you feel?"  And I'd reply, "I dunno, okay I guess."  Gradually I learned that the stomach pains I experienced prior to a meeting with the boss weren't caused by food; they evolved from a severe aversion to episodes of humiliation.  When I was laid off and finally walked out of the building, the weight of all that lifted.

The author's discussion of fear was my favorite part of the book.  As I wrote on my blog¹, fear can point you in the direction of growth.  But if you succumb to fear, it can hold you back.  So it was easy for me to accept the author's idea that other "emotions are messengers, not problems."²

The author encourages his readers to pass the book along to another man.  But I'm not sure I'm willing to give up my copy so quickly.

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¹ https://square--peg.blogspot.com/2013/06/fear-as-ally.html
² https://www.robnugen.com/en/books/im-fine/

This review was posted to LibraryThing on 2026-02-11.
I received a free signed copy of this book in order to write this review.

Book Review: “Thriving in a Relationship When You Have Chronic Illness...," by Lisa Gray

This book targets married couples or couples in a committed relationship, one of whom has a chronic illness. However, it seems as far as this book is concerned, the term “relationship” can be expanded to include filial, such as between father and son, for example. Close friendships, too.

The book is very well-structured.  The first ten chapters are organized according to the five stages of grieving. Odd-numbered chapters describe the situation and emotions in each stage, while the even-numbered suggest tools to cope.  In the latter there’s a tool for the patient and another for the partner.

Chapter 2 (tools and activities for the Denial phase) lacks the important suggestion to maintain medical records, apply for disability immediately, and get a good attorney to handle the appeal. The denial portion of chronic illness might make you think it’s not necessary. But if you wait until you realize you need it, it might be too late and you’ll regret it.

The final, eleventh chapter wraps up the book, but it also discusses what to do if the partner doesn’t want to follow the process. Guidance is undergirded by Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT.

Throughout the book, we follow the experiences of two couples, one of which experienced a sudden setback; the other, a food-loving diabetic whose life-style must altered to accommodate the illness.

The author is well-qualified to write on this topic. She is both a mental health professional and a patient with chronic illness. And she has “a very patient and selfless partner.” In the introduction, she writes briefly about an eleven year search to find a reason for her malaise, during which she was misdiagnosed or told there was nothing wrong.

Although I haven’t read the entire book, the parts I did read are very well-written. The Resources section provides links to helpful websites and podcasts; References, a list of books. Any sources are cited in-line with the text. There is no index.

Every rehabilitation group should have some on hand to give out to newly-diagnosed patients. I wish I had this book 15 years ago.

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This review was posted to LibraryThing on 2025-12-26.  More reviews can be found here.  I received a free signed copy of this book in order to write this review.

Book Review: "My Bully, My Aunt, & Her Final Gift," Harold Phifer

This is a review of "My Bully, My Aunt, & Her Final Gift," by Harold Phifer.

This is a humorous account of the funeral of Aunt Kathy, the woman who raised the author.

The cast also includes the author’s older brother Jerry, who (unfairly) always got his aunt’s preferential treatment; the much younger brother, Thomas; and the mentally ill mother, with colorful and predictable ravings.

The story of the funeral itself is book-ended by the author’s recollections of his difficult childhood.  He’s treated unfairly by his Aunt Kathy, and I commiserated with him each time.  Yet the tone of the narration is more upbeat than bitter.  And the storytelling is smooth, fast-paced and laugh out loud funny in spots.

I was dismayed at first when I read the author’s bio, which says that he “bust tables.”  But then I decided to be less of a snob and just enjoy the book.  Which I did.

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This review was posted to LibraryThing on 2025-05-12.  More reviews can be found here.  I received a free copy of this book in order to write this review.

The Passion Fruit Experiment

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my first experience with a Dragon Fruit.  I decided to try other “exotic” foods.  This time I bought two passion fruits.

Preparation was the same as with the Dragon Fruit.  After washing it, I just cut it in half lengthwise.  The hull was very resilient – somewhat like leathery cardboard.  Once it was halved, I scooped out the interior with a metal teaspoon and ate it.

Crunchy tart seeds dominated the sweet pulp and juice.  Some reviewers recommend adding sugar, but I did not feel it was necessary.

I didn’t experience any allergic reaction whatsoever.  Nor did my digestion rebel at all.

These are small and priced by the piece rather than weight.  So I got very little fruit for the money.

The next exotic fruit will be Star Fruit.

Left: Whole; Center: Sliced in Half; Right: After Scooping

The Dragon Fruit Experiment

In honor of the Year of the Dragon, I’ve finally decided to try a Dragon Fruit.

It was simple to prepare.  After washing it, I just cut it in half lengthwise.  Then I scooped out the fleshy interior with a metal teaspoon and ate it.

Dragon Fruit on cutting board:  Left, whole fruit; Center, two halves after cutting lengthwise; Right, one half with teaspoon scoop

The taste was unremarkable and not unpleasant, neither sweet nor tart.  But the texture was nice, with plenty of juice and little bits of gentle crunch from the black pips that were smaller than chia seeds.

I didn’t experience any allergic reaction, which I was prepared for.  I read that some folks compare its taste and texture to kiwi fruit, which can provoke severe allergy¹.  I do react slightly to peaches and mangoes, so I had my inhaler ready.  There was just a mild laxative effect; at my age that’s more of a benefit.

My fruit preference includes apples, pears, blueberries, grapes and pomegranate.

Mostly I eat apples, which seem to be ripe when I buy them and stay edible for a week or more.

Pears on the other hand, cannot be eaten right away and need to ripen.

Pomegranate require more work to open, and they’re messy, but otherwise great.

Flavor-wise, blueberries and grapes are marvelous.  But I’m a fanatic about washing produce.  I prefer to use a soapy nylon brush and scrub an item vigorously; merely rinsing things off won’t deal with germs or other residue.

I can buy a few apples for the cost of one Dragon Fruit, so apples will remain my go-to fruit for now.

Have you tried an unusual food item recently?  How did you like it?

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¹See for example: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15248859/

Cat Litter Review Addendum -- Feline Pine

This is an addendum to the review of Feline Pine cat litter¹ that I posted in November 2019.

Dust

I had written that the dust it produces is comparable to the dust you get by sawing wood with a crosscut saw.  That’s true at first.  But if left to sit around for two weeks, the dust continues to break down into smaller pieces, and it does become airborne.  So in that regard, I am disappointed with this litter.

Disposal

I also mentioned that I might apply the used litter to the icy driveway to improve traction.  I’m happy to report that the used Feline Pine improves traction on my snowy and icy driveway very well.  It’s the best stuff to pre-treat with prior to an ice storm because the occasional full-size pellets get stuck in the ice and protrude high enough to give your shoe or tire something to grip onto.  Sand, in comparison, can get covered in ice.  The used Feline Pine also seems not to wash away too quickly.

Figuring that it’s a nitrogen-rich mulch, I’ve applied it also to the lawn using a broadcast spreader.  But I did so only on the rare occasion when I was motivated to do so.  More often I’d bag it and put it in the garbage.  Anyway, the lawn still looks just as shabby as it ever did.  But at least it’s still alive.

Odor control

While it is effective at controlling urine odor, it does a poor job of containing poop smells when new.  The large pellets leave too many air gaps, allowing “stool gas” to escape and pervade a small house.  But once the pellets start break down, the stool gets a coating of dust and doesn’t out-gas so much.

Noise

I didn’t mention this in my initial review, but the litter is very noisy.  So this is the last litter you’d want to use in a bedroom.  The sound of a cat pawing through it is like hearing a box of Lego bricks tumble back and forth.  And if you tend to maintain the litterbox early in the morning or late at night when other family members are asleep, you’ll cringe at the noise when you pour in new litter to top it off.

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¹ https://square--peg.blogspot.com/2019/11/cat-litter-review-feline-pine-original.html

Cat Litter Review -- Tidy Cats 24/7 Performance

Tidy Cats 24/7 Performance clay cat litter was the first cat litter we ever used.  It seemed fine while all the litterboxes were confined to the basement.  But soon after we introduced the first box onto the main level, we realized we needed a product that produced less dust.

Here are what I consider the pros and cons to Tidy Cats:

Great Packaging
Tidy Cats comes in study containers that can be repurposed.  Depending on the size, it comes in either jugs or pails; both are plastic and resealable.  Even though we stopped using it many years ago, we still have a few pails left that we use to store bird seed, sand or spent cat litter.

Flows Well Through Scoop

The individual pellets are spherical and uniform in size, so they flow well through even the finest scoop.

Good Odor Control
Odor was never a problem unless a cat peed outside the box or didn’t bury the Number Two well enough.

Ubiquitous – even our grocery store carries it
It’s convenient if your go-to brand of cat litter is available at the local “Brick & Mortar” stores you regularly shop at.  Back in the days before Internet and automatic delivery, I’d buy the stuff in a regular store.  Occasionally I’d notice that it’s marked down in price at the grocery store.

Good clumping
It clumps fairly well, yet also seems to drain.  It was important for us to keep up the depth of the litter in the box.  Otherwise, a messy, stinky slurry of clay and cat pee would remain on the bottom of the box.  World’s Best is better at clumping, but it doesn’t drain well.

Low “unit” cost
The higher cost of other cat litters was what kept me hooked on Tidy Cats for so low.  But my method of comparing prices is not well-suited for comparing cat litters.  I usually choose the product with the lowest unit cost, where the units are weight.  However, the important unit of measure for cat litter is volume.  Once I realized that, it put competing brands on a more level playing field.


What we didn’t like:

Dust
As noted above, dust was the main reason we stopped using it.

Not Compostable
Used clay cat litters either go into the trash or get dumped onto a pile in our woods.

Extremely Heavy
Even the smallest portion is 14lb.  Larger sizes are 20lb, 27lb, 35lb.

Cat Litter Review -- Feline Pine Original Non-Clumping Litter

We’re transitioning from World’s Best clumping litter to a non-clumping dust-free litter.  We’re currently trying Feline Pine Original Non-Clumping Litter.

Please note that an addendum to this review has been posted.  You can find it here:

https://square--peg.blogspot.com/2022/02/cat-litter-review-addendum-feline-pine.html

We like it so far for the following reasons:

Drains Very Quickly
As mentioned before, we have one cat who’s a very Prolific Peer (PP).  His output is so voluminous that he can wet himself in a box full of quick-clumping litter.  As soon as his pee hits the clumping litter, the litter solidifies.  Then as his stream continues (and continues and continues) it forms a puddle that splashes up onto him.  But this non-clumping litter is both very absorbent and drains very quickly, so our PP cat stays dry.

Produces “Friendlier” Dust
The way this works is that when the pellets get soaked with pee, they break down into saw dust, which, as its name implies, is still dust.  So technically, this is not dust-free litter.  However, nearly all the dust particles are fairly large, so they don’t float in the air.  Imagine the saw dust you get by sawing wood with a crosscut saw.  The litter gets no smaller than this.

Compostable
This is made from natural pine and is free of chemicals.  It will eventually decompose, so it can be composted.  I dumped a large bunch of it in our composter, but it’s still somewhat intact.  Then I decided I would try to fertilize the lawn with it, since it seems to be compatible with the broadcast spreader.  I might also sprinkle it in the driveway to improve traction on snowy days.

Ubiquitous – even our favorite grocery store carries it
I usually get this from an online pet store with a Repeat Delivery service.  But if I had to I could pick up a spare bag at the grocery store.

Odor Control
It’s surprisingly effective at suppressing odor.  However, I do sift it at least every two weeks because only the pellets can contain the odor.  The saw dust does smell if it becomes pee-drenched.

Long Lasting
The 20lb bag is lasting longer than I expected.  You need only a one-inch layer in a box.  This makes it easier for our older cats to step into the box as they don’t have to step too high.  As well, this litter seems to be superior to World’s Best and ökocat in terms of monthly cost, provided that I continue to sift it.


What we don’t like:

Heavy / Bulky / Awkward to Carry and Pour
The 20lb bag is flimsy, so it’s awkward to pour with precision.  Pouring gets easier as the bag gets emptier.  The bags usually have puncture holes in them.

Not Our Cats’ First Choice
The “go-to” litter boxes in our home are the ones filled with World’s Best.  I think only our PP cat prefers Feline Pine, and almost never for pooping.  He doesn’t care to bury his business.  My guess is that the other two cats prefer the clumping litter because it’s easier for them to bury their business in it.

Cat Litter Review -- ökocat Dust Free Paper Non-Clumping

We tried ökocat non-clumping paper cat litter for a short while, as I wrote in my Nov 1 Halloween post.  We’d liked it for the following reasons:

Drains Very Quickly
We have one very Prolific Peer (PP).  His output is so voluminous that he can wet himself in a box full of quick-clumping litter.  As soon as his pee hits the clumping litter, it solidifies.  Then as his stream continues (and continues and continues) it forms a puddle that splashes up onto him.  But the non-clumping paper litter from ökocat drains very quickly, so our PP cat stays dry.

Totally Dust Free
There is absolutely no dust produced.  Period.

Light Weight
This is lightest litter I’ve ever used.

Compostable
Because it’s made from paper, it will eventually decompose, so it can be composted.  I dumped a bunch of it in the summer, but I don’t see it anymore.

Ubiquitous – even our grocery store carries it
I first discovered this cat litter in my favorite grocery store.  It was on sale, plus I had a coupon for it.  I happened to be looking for a non-clumping dust-free litter, so I decided to try it.  Then a while later I got concerned because there was none left, and I thought the store discontinued it.  But, no, it’s back on the shelf.

What we don’t like:

Odor Control
This litter reeked of pee within two weeks of my introducing it in our home.  The only solution was to dump it out.  I decided I didn’t want to have to replace it every two weeks, so I stopped buying it.  Except I still had one box left, which I used for my Halloween costume.

I plan to keep the one unused box.  It might come in handy to clean up liquid spills.  I’m fortunate that our two cars don’t leak oil – I wish I had a box of ökocat around when I had my Audi.

#NaBloPoMo2019

Cat Litter Review -- World's Best Clumping Formula

We have eight litter boxes set up in our home.  Two are on the main level; six are in the basement.

Currently we use World’s Best Clumping Formula cat litter in five of the boxes.  It's packaged in a green and black bag.  We like it for the following reasons:

Great clumping, even near the sides of the box
If you’re gonna scoop, you’ll want the clumps to remain intact and not fall apart as you perform your duty.  Compared with the two other clumping brands that we’ve tried (Tidy Cats and Naturally Fresh), World’s Best seems to form the most robust clumps.

Low cost
I’ve seen World’s Best priced as low as $1 per lb.  (In fact, we use our pet supplier’s “Auto Ship” service and get additional discount and free shipping.)  But what really matters is the cost per volume.  The 7lb bag is all you’ll need to fill one empty litter box.  It’s generally more expensive than Tidy Cats, but cheaper than Naturally Fresh.

Ubiquitous – even our grocery store carries it
It’s convenient if your go-to brand of cat litter is available at the local “Brick & Mortar” stores you regularly shop at.  Occasionally I’ll need an extra bag, or I might walk by and notice that it’s marked down in price.  While Tidy Cats also is widely available, Naturally Fresh is a bit harder to find.

Compostable
Because it’s made from corn, World’s Best will eventually decompose, so it can be composted.  It does take quite a long time for this, though, perhaps more than six months.  I suppose the same can be said for Naturally Fresh, although I’ve never tried it.  Tidy Cat is clay and is not considered compostable.


What we don’t like:

Dust
World’s Best claims to be 99% dust free.  What does that mean, exactly?  My guess is that if you put 100 units in a box, then over a period of time 1 unit of it will become airborne while 99 units remain in the box.  What’s the period of time?  The lifetime of 1 month, perhaps?  What are the units?  Weight?  Volume?  Nevertheless, it emits less dust than Tidy Cats and, I think, Naturally Fresh, which claims to be “virtually dust-free.”  This is the main reason we switched away from Tidy Cats and then from Naturally Fresh.  I’m still looking for a product with less of a by product of dust.

Slow to drain
We have one very Prolific Peer (PP).  His output is so voluminous that he wets himself because his stream splashes up from the puddle he produces.  This is the main reason we’ve started to swap out the clumping litter with non-clumping.  The non-clumping litter (Feline Pine) drains very quickly, so our PP cat stays dry.

Punctured Packaging
Occasionally we’ll get a bag that’s punctured.  So far, we’ve not had any brand new cat litter that’s been exposed to water.  But a couple of bags have leaked a small amount of product.  It’s always pretty obvious when you get a punctured bag – it tends to look as though it has air in it rather than “vacuum-packed.”

Corn
I’m not a fan of corn.  I can’t eat too much of it because it gives me joint pain.  I wonder if just breathing in its dust can bother me.  And what effect does it have on the cats?  We have one cat who needs anti-seizure medication and another that seems to have upper respiratory problems and eye discharge.  I’m hoping that they’ll improve as we transition to more non-clumping litter.

Slow Flow Through Scoop
I ended up buying a new scoop, one with a larger grid pattern, because this litter doesn't flow well through a typical scoop.  The granules are irregularly shaped, unlike the spherical granules that make up the clay litter I was accustomed to.

#NaBloPoMo2019

Book Review: “I Drink for a Reason,” David Cross

This is a review of “I Drink for a Reason,” by David Cross.

I was amused by this book as soon as I picked it up.  The tattoo of a cat butt on the author’s face totally cracked me up.  But then I laughed even harder when I realized it wasn’t a tattoo at all.  It was a small crescent-shaped stain from a bit of dried cat feces!  I didn’t realize it was cat feces right away – it wasn’t until I scraped it off with my thumbnail that I surmised what it was.

Now that I think about this, I was in the kitchen when this happened.  I hope I wasn’t eating at the time and that I remembered to wash my hands.

So then I started to actually read the book.  That’s when I really started laughing.  Because that was when I realized I could write a funny review about the book and mention how I found cat feces on the author’s face!

Now on to the actual review….  Can I say that I couldn’t put the book down?  No I honestly cannot say that.  That would be a lie.  Of course I could put the book down.  In fact, that’s how I preferred to read it.  I sat at the kitchen table and put the book down in front of me.  That way I could read it and have both hands free to fondle myself.  Unfortunately, the cat decided to lie on top of the book.  At that point I paid less attention to the book and more attention to the fondling.

But one time I had put the book down on top of the newspaper.  So when the cat went on top of the book, I was able to slide the newspaper out from underneath and read that instead.  I was hoping that if I then put the newspaper next to the book, the cat would get off the book and lie on top of the paper.  If there’s anything irresistible to a cat, it’s a newspaper, especially one that a human is trying to read.  But the cat showed total indifference to the newspaper, and I was unsuccessful getting my book back.  Well, at least I was able to read the newspaper that night, so the book proved to be quite valuable in that regard.  Next time, I hope to put the newspaper on top of the book.  And then when the cat lies on top of the newspaper, I’ll slide the book out and read it.  I really hope Mr Cross writes another book, so I can write another review and let you know how well the newspaper-on-top-of-book trick worked.

In every book review, I always like to write about my favorite part of the book.  I would have to say that my favorite part was the bit about how he wakes up and finds out that someone got into his bedroom and stole a beautiful gold cup.  He gets really bad ass crazy, like flying around, smashing things and roaring.  He’s not sure who did it, but he’s sure someone from town had something to do with it.  So he flies over to the town, screaming the whole time, lighting people’s houses on fire.  People run in all directions, especially into the lake to get away from all the flames.  All that unbridled anger and fury – it’s so wicked cool.  Unfortunately, there’s this guy who stays totally chill during the melee.  He shoots his lucky arrow at him, and hits him right in the chest where his scales are missing.  The arrow penetrates all the way in. He screeches in pain and fury, but it’s too late.  He plunges dead into the huge lake, making a great cloud of steam burst up.  I think this part could’ve been even better if he caught the arrow in mid air, lit it on fire and threw it back at the guy, hitting him right in the eye.  Yeah that would've been awesome.

Anyway, I think you’ll enjoy this book.  I’ll be returning it to the library tomorrow so that you can check it out next.

Book Review: Poundstone's Search for Human Happiness

I started reading humor in earnest about one week after the November 2016 election.

When I came across “The Totally Unscientific Study of the Search for Human Happiness” I hadn't heard about Paula's first book yet, but I was accustomed to hearing her on NPR's Wait, Wait, Don' Tell Me, where she'd advocate for the humane treatment of Twinkies or extol the virtues of the Apple Cinnamon Pop Tart. So I was really excited to get my hands on it. The book, not the Pop Tart.

I won't say that I couldn't put the book down – that would be lying. And besides it's such a pathetic cliché. But I will say that I read the book in record time. And one night, while I was lying on my back in bed, holding the book above me so that I could read it, I picked it right back up again after I dozed off and dropped it on my face. (Note to self, avoid reading hardcover books while lying on back.)

I enjoyed the variety of humor. There's plenty of the self-effacing cracks that you'd expect from a comedian / cat lady. There's also a spot light on the thoughtlessness / stupidity all of us face as we navigate our day-to-day existence. For example, she tells how she needed to sign up online for a class on computers for absolute beginners. And, my favorite, the mental slapstick during her meditation class. All this undergirded by a bizarre unique, out-of-the-box thought process.

There were sections that made me uncomfortable, though. I kept worrying that she would smash the Lamborghini (or that it would get vandalized or stolen) even as I entertained the notion that she had somehow gotten her publisher to reimburse her for the rental fee. And the first “Get Organized” chapter was draining because it hit so close to home. I still remember how tedious and dreadful it was for me to declutter my home office, even though it was more than ten years ago. Personally I think she should've kept the underwear with all the holes in it. I find that “holey” underwear is nice on a hot day. And with global warming, the summers won't be getting much cooler for at least the next dozen or so epochs.

This is one of the few books that I was able to read the Acknowledgments section to completion. In most books, it's a seemingly endless string of shout-outs. But Paula's gratitude is genuine, if, perhaps, swamped with relief over having completed the book. Yet I'm surprised that she did not thank her sixteen cats – they deserve to be acknowledged for not peeing on the computer keyboard, or for not highlighting the file and stepping on the Delete key, before Paula sent the manuscript to the publisher. Or maybe they did, and Paula had a backup copy.

Regardless of intention, I think the book serves just as well as a self-help book as it does entertainment. Obviously the humor provides immediate relief from the doldrums. But then for extended relief, you'll benefit from Paula's findings, three of which are that: 1. Happiness from a fancy car is fleeting; B. Getting a good night's sleep does wonders for your outlook; π. Striving to make others happy brings happiness to yourself. So the book is like that dual-action, 12-hour Mucinex – immediate and long-acting relief.

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• This review was posted to LibraryThing on 2017-06-04.
• More reviews can be found here.
• I received a free copy of this book in order to write this review.

The Energy-Saving Myth of LED Holiday Lights

If you use strands of lights for holiday decorating, you may be wondering whether you should trade in your sets of traditional incandescent lights for the new LED lights that have become popular.

The answer is no if:

• Your incandescent light sets are in good condition.
• You have (or know how to get) spare bulbs for your current lights.
• You use the lights sparingly...
• Only a few hours per day.
• Only a few weeks per year.
• You use the lights indoors only during cold weather days when you heat your home.

Understand that the incandescent lights you use now convert most of the electricity into heat.  So that any energy savings you might realize by switching to LED lights will mostly be offset by an increase in the energy you'll use to heat your home.  And if your home uses electric heat, you'll never re-coup your savings.

So by all means trade in your traditional incandescent lights for the new LED lights if:

• You use the lights outdoors or in unheated areas.
• You use the lights when the weather is warm.
• You can't find replacement bulbs for your current set.
• The wiring in your current set has cracked or missing insulation.
• You use more lights than your house wiring can handle...
• When you turn them on a fuse blows (or the breaker trips).
• The outlet or extension cord feels very warm.

I continue to use two sets of incandescent lights that are rated at 75W each.  They use special C7 bulbs that are designed with an internal bimetallic strip.  When the light is on, the strip heats up and bends to interrupt the current flowing to the filament.  This enables each one to blink on and off randomly independent of the others.  It's a lovely effect, one I've not seen duplicated with LED sets.

Besides, the LED light sets that I've seen have an annoying flicker to them.  LEDs turn on only when current flows in one direction.  They remain dark for half the cycle unless a special "full-wave rectifier" has been included in the design.  Unfortunately, the packaging won't tell you anything about the design, so you have to take your chances.  Be sure to buy light sets at a store with a good return policy and save your receipt.

I hope this helps you in some way!

Fear as an Ally

I was a Trekie for the first half of my life.  Many episodes were thought-provoking and expanded my mind.  A great example is the episode of Voyager in which Captain Janeway confronts Fear incarnate.

The first four scenes establish the background that leads up to the conclusion.  There is a simulated being, called "The Clown" that lives off the fear of those in stasis.  This being would cease to exist once stasis is no longer needed, so he compels the ones who are in stasis to stay, using threats of torture and death to control them.  They are his hostages.

In the last scene, Captain Janeway agrees to enter stasis herself in order to confront Fear, but only if Fear will agree to release the others.

Here's a link to the scene on Youtube.  I hope you'll watch it -- it's my favorite scene featuring my favorite Star Trek character:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYwEaBu6lfQ

The point is that I learned something very important.  We, as complex beings, can experience fear in response to our own thoughts.  If we pay close attention to fear, we can grow.  Our thoughts cannot physically harm us, but they can hold us back from achieving our goals.

So whenever I experience fear going into a situation, such as public speaking or traveling to a distant part of the world, I resist my natural tendency to avoid it.  Instead, I become emboldened and look the situation squarely in the eye.

Book Review: Why Can't I Change?

The book "Why Can't I Change? How to Conquer Your Self-Destructive Patterns" serves as three books in one.  First, as the title suggests, it's a self-help guide.  Second, it's a book on parenting.  Third, it's a book on interpersonal relationships.

The self-help aspect of the book describes attachment theory.  It uses this theory to draw a connection between how we react to stress and emotional situations today and how accessible and responsive to us our earliest caregivers were in the past.  This connection brings us insight into our behavior.  Once aware of our needs, we can circumvent misunderstandings and bring resolution to conflicts.

The aforementioned connection to our caregivers is what also makes this a helpful parenting book.  Those of us who don't want our kids to turn out as screwed up as we are can benefit from knowing how to respond to displays of emotion.  (Hint, not with, "Oh you'll get over it;" rather, "It's upsetting that the boy dumped you.")  The author gives us hope -- we can repair neglectful parenting fairly easily.

And because everyone we deal with, (boss, coworker, spouse, classmate, teacher, etc.) may not have had the most ideal parenting, we gain a bit more understanding, tolerance and perhaps even compassion when dealing with difficult people.

One concern I had is that the author doesn't discuss neurological disorders.  Her description of the "avoidant attachment" type could also describe someone with mild autism.  We are left to ponder whether autism is the result of avoidant mothers ("refrigerator mothers.")  A brief statement explaining that attachment theory applies only to neurotypical individuals should be included.

Overall the book is easy to read.  The author deftly combines theory with anecdotes from her own life and that of her patients.  Exercises for self-discovery and behavior modification are included.  Spelling and grammar are very good with only two minor errors.

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• This review was posted to LibraryThing on 2012-09-15.
• More reviews can be found here.
• I received a free copy of this book in order to write this review.

Computer Games for Children

Occasionally my friends ask me to recommend computer games for children. They know I'm serious about online privacy and security, so they're curious to know what sites I let my daughter play on. Here's what I tell them:

Webkinz. This is a great site in many ways. First, the site requires no personal information. Second, the chat features are extremely restricted by phrase & word filters. Children cannot enter any words that do not meet the criteria, and that includes personal names. You need to buy one stuffed animal once a year in order to obtain a code to gain access. You get a room and an online pet that you can care for as well as many games. You earn Kinzcash by playing games, then you can buy clothes for your pet and furniture for your room. The games are generally free of violence. There is no advertising and no product placement except for the stuffed animals themselves. The stores that sell Webkinz also carry other Webkinz merchandise, such as clothes. My daughter started on this site when she was about seven years old, yet she still signs on to play at age 12.

Bella Sara. A great site for children who are horse lovers. It used to be that to gain access to the site you had to buy trading cards that come with codes you enter into the site. But now you can join for free, but the codes are required to unlock additional features of the site. You need to supply an e-mail address when you sign up. Once you do, you adopt a magical horse that you care for. There is no chat and no third party advertising. Activities are free of violence.

Poptropica. This site can be played entirely free. You do not need to buy a pet to gain access. You can sign up without an e-mail address or any other personal information. However, you can get a premium account that will enable your child to get more stuff for his online character. The site offers several "islands" that have themes. Play involves solving the problem that's associated with the island. Problem solving is sometimes educational in nature. For example, you might have to put paintings that have been mixed up into their proper locations (Impressionist, Cubist, Expressionist, etc.), or engage in trading to earn money for a large enough boat to defeat a pirate. However, solutions to all of the islands are available on Youtube. When you get defeated at certain parts of an island, you are simply returned to an earlier point without losing any inventory. You earn credits every time you solve an island, and you can buy things for your character with the credits. Each island has a chat room in which chat is scripted. There are promotional ads for movies and books that actually take you to other websites.

Miniclip This free site has hundreds of games in many genres to choose from, including games that involve violence in which you shoot at aliens (Obama Alien Defense) or punch and kick opponents (Karate King, Street Fight). The site asks for an e-mail address when you sign up. Advertising takes place in the margins of the browser. Chat is very limited with scripted phrases. You can create an avatar (called a YoMe). There is a player's forum message board, but the link is easy to overlook.

Do you know of any other fun online gaming sites? Let me know!

Notes on the Pain Chronicles

These are my personal notes from The Pain Chronicles: Cures, Myths, Mysteries, Prayers, Diaries, Brain Scans, Healing, and the Science of Suffering, by Melanie Thernstrom....

"There are interesting differences in male and female opioid receptors. (The differences are also present in male and female rats.) There are three types of opioid receptors, most notably mu and kappa; most opioid drugs such as morphine target mu receptors. Few drugs that target kappa receptors have been developed, because early trials found them ineffective. The research, however, was conducted largely on men, and it turns out that women are more responsive to kappa-receptor drugs. One study of a rarely prescribed kappa-receptor analgesic (Nalbuphine) on postoperative pain in men and women ... found that the drug had the opposite effects on the two sexes, ameliorating female pain and exacerbating male pain." - page 175

Writing about a patient named George who scoffed at the idea of taking the anti-depressant Cymbalta, the author describes how he changed his mind when she told him that "antidepressants mitigate pain in rats as well as humans." She writes, "It had not been enough for him to be told that antidepressants effectively mitigate pain in humans, because he believed they worked in the wrong way. But to work for a rat -- that was really working." - page 223

"I used heat therapy with an ingenious product called ThermaCare [by Proctor and Gamble] -- pads that adhere to your neck or back that interact with the air in some way that makes them stay hot for hours." - page 253

Botox is used to paralyze neck muscles in order to relieve spasms that contribute to migraines. - page 256

Omneuron develops real-time functional neuroimaging. One application with fMRI is to help patients learn to lower activity in their rACC, "the part of the limbic system that gives pain its emotional valence. The pain of pain, as it were, is the way it's suffused with particular unpleasantness -- the sadness, anxiety, distress, and dislike that researchers refer to as dysphoria -- a reaction so fierce that you are instantly compelled to try to make the stimulus cease, not in five minutes, not in five seconds, now." - page 313, 316.


Further reading:
The War on Pain, a book by Dr. Scott Fishman

It's Hard Work Behaving as a Credible Patient, paper by Dr. Anne Werner & Dr. Kirsti Malterud, details "the ways in which women with chronic pain symptoms try to discern and comply with the hidden rules of the medical encounter in order to get the help they need. The women described struggling to present their pain in a way that others will feel is "just right": to make their symptoms "socially visible, real and physical" and to achieve "a subtle balance not to appear too strong or too weak, too healthy or too sick." - page 148 - 149

Book Review: Monet's Passion

"Monet's Passion: Ideas, Inspiration, and Insights from the Painter's Gardens," by Elizabeth Murray, is part biography, part photo journal and part gardening book.

The book is organized into three chapters. The first chapter is a biography of French Impressionist painter Claude Monet that focuses on his gardens at Giverny. The author describes how the gardens looked at various times of day and during the four seasons. Images of some of Monet's paintings help to support the text. The chapter also includes some photographs of Monet or the gardens that were taken in the early 1900s.

In the second chapter, the author writes about the gardens as they appeared in the mid 1980s and today. She includes many of her photographs of the property. Included in this are two large images. One is of the lily pond in its lush surroundings. The second is of the entranceway at the end of the impressive Grande Allée. These images are each spread over two adjacent pages, center-fold style.

The third chapter provides ideas on how you can create the kinds of views that Monet created, whether you have sprawling property or just a balcony. She also includes tips on how to make your home's entrance more welcoming.

Several appendices of resources follow, but there is no index. A table of contents, acknowledgements and introduction are included, as well as a green ribbon marker. I found no spelling or grammatical errors.

I've not studied art history, so I enjoyed learning about Monet's intense interest in gardening from this book. I could identify with Monet's habit of dashing off to capture a magically-lit landscape scene on canvas because it's what I enjoy doing today with my camera. One appendix features a listing and description of the colors that Monet frequently used.

My ignorance of Monet may have added to my appreciation of this book. On the other hand, my unfamiliarity with plants made the book difficult for me to fully enjoy. I wished I had a plant catalog next to me while reading chapter one, which included sentences such as this one, "Planted over the bulbs in complimentary colors were pansies with their little faces, long-lived English primroses, sweet-scented wallflowers in golds, oranges and rust, crowns of pink or blue columbine, and spice-scented stock, all blooming in great masses of molten colors within lavender frames of aubrieta." It sounds impressive, but I cannot visualize it, and the Plant Cultivation appendix doesn't include a photo for these and many other specimens.

Overall, "Monet's Passion" is a beautiful book, with lovely images both inside and on the jacket. Let it grace your coffee table for guests to admire, or plan your next garden plot with it.

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• This review was posted to LibraryThing on 2010-05-25.
• More reviews can be found here.
• I received a free copy of this book in order to write this review.
  
• As an associate of Amazon.com, I receive a small cash award for each click-through-purchase of "Monet's Passion: Ideas, Inspiration, and Insights from the Painter's Gardens."
  

Book Review: "Advice My Parents Gave Me"

In Advice My Parents Gave Me: and Other Lessons I Learned from My Mistakes, Rodolfo Costa's 409 bits of advice are numbered and grouped into fifteen sections. Each section is separated by a page of quotations from famous or historical people. This is followed by a two-page summary, which is probably the most inspirational part of the book.

The groupings of advice-bits are roughly based on various themes, such as attitude, motivation, finances, the importance of laughter, gratitude and more. My favorite advice-bits appear early in the book, but some other sections (such as the "gratitude section") resonated well with me, too.

The book is well-written -- I found only two errors (one wrong verb tense and one omitted word). As well, it's easy to read. However, when I read from front to back in a few days, it started to grate on me and take on a nagging quality -- "Do not ____," "Learn to _____," "Be sure to ____," etc.. So I recommend reading this at a very leisurely pace (perhaps read just one page before your regular reading). Or open it up at a random page and read just one advice-bit each day, as we do sometimes with Wayne Dyer's Everyday Wisdom for Success. In fact, I can see this working well as a blog or iPhone applet, delivering one advice-bit per page refresh or per day.

One thing lacking in this book is some autobiographical context behind the advice. I would have liked this book more if the author included in each section a brief description of how the advice fit in with his life experience, which I think would have helped me to connect to the advice, or accept it with more appreciation. In its current form, it seems to fulfill more of a pet project role for the author as opposed to a lesson manual for the reader.

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• This review was posted to LibraryThing on 2010-03-13.
• More reviews can be found here.
• I received a free copy of this book in order to write this review.
  
• As an associate of Amazon.com, I receive a small cash award for each click-through-purchase of Advice My Parents Gave Me: and Other Lessons I Learned from My Mistakes.
  

Book Review "How to Thrive in Changing Times"

When I signed up to review this book, I expected that it would help the reader become resilient. But as I read, I quickly realized I was mistaken. Yet I was not disappointed, because as the book's subtitle suggests, it aims to offer "simple tools to create true health, wealth, peace, and joy for yourself and the earth."

I enjoyed several sections. Her discussion on page 40 of "words as seeds" was perhaps my favorite part of this book -- a moving revelation to me.

On page 97, she implies that it's been scientifically proven that gratitude can help the immune system. It's inspiring, although there are no references to any supporting studies.

The "Gratitude Walk" on page 102 involves appreciating the beauty in nature and being thankful for it. It occurred to me that my love of nature photography is my way of appreciating the beauty in nature.

She discusses the practice of transfiguration (transmuting environmental pollution) at the beginning of chapter 7 (pages 134 to 138). She describes experiments in which her group lowered the ph of a toxic base solution, but again cites no references. In another experiment, she describes how the auric field of a peach was improved. Photos of the auric field were produced with a gas discharge visualization (GDV) camera and can be seen on a website.

The book's small size belies its lengthy content. It does this with smaller margins and small font size for the "Practice" text. As well, there's no bibliography or index and a simple one-page Table of Contents.

If read with motivation and an open mind, this will strike you as a inspiring gem of a book.

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• This review was posted to LibraryThing on 2010-02-23.
• More reviews can be found here.
• I received a free copy of this book in order to write this review.
  
• As an associate of Amazon.com, I receive a small cash award for each click-through-purchase of "How to Thrive in Changing Times: Simple Tools to Create True Health, Wealth, Peace, and Joy for Yourself and the Earth".