Wonderful Weirdos Day

Today is Wonderful Weirdos Day.

According to National Today, “Wonderful Weirdos Day is celebrated across America on September 9.” ¹

Why is it celebrated during an ordinary unit of time such as a day. Isn’t that boring and totally not weird? Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to designate it as Wonderful Weirdos Nychthemeron? ^{2, 3}

¹ https://nationaltoday.com/wonderful-weirdos-day/

² https://english.stackexchange.com/a/595618

³ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nychthemeron

Ask Amy

The letter to Ask Amy from the mom of a 4-year-old girl that described how her daughter cut her own bangs and then lied about it¹ reminded me of my own hair cutting incident.

I was sick and tired of how my mom’s friends would fawn over my eyelashes.  “Oh, how long and pretty they are!”  “I’d give anything to have eyelashes like that!”  And so, you guessed it, I cut them.

At the dinner table, my mom noticed immediately and reacted strongly: “Did you cut your eyelashes!?  Why did you do that?  You could’ve poked your eye out!”  And so on.

Frankly I was surprised and insulted.  Surprised because I thought they were my eyelashes; why should it be anyone’s business?  And the “poke your eyes out” remark was utterly insulting.  I was anything but a klutz.  I was a “Little Professor” type of boy, always carefully coloring inside the lines, and I (literally) had excellent hand-eye coordination.

Two takeaways here are: children rarely are given the credit they deserve; and showing overt attention to a child can have unexpected consequences.

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¹https://www.chicagotribune.com/2024/04/26/ask-amy-sex-offender-lives-in-the-neighborhood/

The Versatility of Salsa

Salsa isn’t just for dipping.

I make a Mexican version of Chicken Cacciatore using salsa in place of crushed tomatoes.  In my version, I may also use pablano chilies and/or jalapenos along with onions, garlic and the other vegetables.  But in a hurry, just browning the chicken on both sides and then dumping in about 4oz of salsa yields an acceptable dish.  I don’t bread the chicken the way some versions do.

Salsa makes a fine substitute for ketchup on a hamburger or sandwich, especially when combined with a rich mayonnaise such as Sir Kensington's.

When the bag of tortilla chips is nearly empty, I like to dump the small bits into a bowl, pour salsa on top, and eat the mixture with a spoon.  It reminds me of how I used to eat cereal with milk when I was a boy, but the taste is a whole lot better.

And would you believe that I like to drink salsa?  Yes, one day I was rinsing out a nearly empty salsa jar when, on impulse, I decided to drink the highly diluted contents.  It tasted quite good, but the chunkiness of it was off-putting.

Halloween 2019 -- The Litterbox Costume

I dressed up as a litterbox yesterday.  This was an easy, low-cost outfit.

• Cardboard box – free (with a delivery from Petco)
• Okocat non-clumping paper litter¹ – about $3 (It was marked down and I had a coupon)
• New pooper-scooper – 97 cents
• Safety glasses – free (Household item)
• Dust mask -- free (Household item)
• Zip-Lock bag – free (Household item)
• Tootsie Rolls -- about $3
• Other Assorted Chocolate -- free (Household items)

The Okocat paper litter was a good choice for this project.  It’s extremely light weight, and the granules aren’t so small as to leak through any gaps in the box or in my pants.  I had some lying around because I tried it out with the cats, and I found that it would quickly get saturated with pee.  The entire litterbox had to be emptied and refilled with fresh litter about once a week.  This reminds me, I’m planning on writing a review of cat litters soon.

So, did you dress up for Halloween?  What was your costume?

#NaBloPoMo2019

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¹ https://www.healthy-pet.com/products/dust-free-paper-natural-litter
² Photo credit: anonymous coworker

The Magic of Suspenders

In December I made the switch from wearing a belt to wearing suspenders.

I had already bought pants with a larger waist to relieve the pressure on my abdomen.  But this meant that I had to wear a belt to keep the pants from falling down.  And a belt isn’t terribly effective if one’s waist greatly exceeds one’s hips.  So the new pants didn’t really change anything.  That’s when I decided to switch.

The first day that I replaced the belt with suspenders was magical.  I achieved the intended effect of relief around my waist.  But there were other improvements, too.

The first improvement was the illusion of becoming taller and slimmer.  With its two bold vertical lines replacing the single horizontal line of the belt, the suspenders had the same effect one gets by changing out of a sweater that sports horizontal stripes with another with vertical stripes.

The second improvement was that suspenders encouraged me stand more erect.  They reminded me that if I wanted to keep my pants in place, I shouldn’t slouch.  Better posture also made me taller and made me feel more confident.  And with the better posture, it was easier to suck in my gut.

The third improvement was style.  Before, I’d choose between a brown belt for khakis or a black belt for grey, black or navy blue pants.  But suspenders come in a much greater variety of colors and patterns, such as blue, red, gold, green, and solid, plaid, striped, argyle, that you can bring out an accent color from a plaid or checkered shirt.  Plus, you can find novelty suspenders that can show off your favorite hobby, passion or line of work.  For example, you can find themes of flyfishing, golf, camouflage, clovers, American flag, and the one that I chose, circuit board.

If you decide to make the switch, I strongly advise you to practice lowering your pants a few times lest you find yourself “in urgent need of a haircut”¹ and get stymied trying to drop your drawers quickly.

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¹A euphemism on Car Talk (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Car_Talk) for “desperately needing to go to the bathroom.”

Dear APA -- Let's Rethink ADD

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. (Attributed to Albert Einstein by author Matthew Kelly)

This is an open letter to the American Psychiatric Association (APA), which came up with the term “Attention Deficit Disorder”...

How dare you!  I see myself as Perception Enhanced.  You so-called normal people have a deficit.  I can’t imagine how you can endure such a severely filtered experience.

My inability to block out distraction is my Superpower.  While I might not catch every word said to me in a conversation, I’ve listened to five other simultaneous conversations and determined that the car trouble that the woman is describing is probably due to a clogged fuel filter.  I’m referring to the woman in the red dress who’s standing by the window who’s been nursing the same drink for 45 minutes.

Also I’ve been hearing excess noise from the vacuum pump in the factory.  It sounds like the bearings are wearing out.  It’s been getting progressively worse over the last few weeks.  Why doesn’t anyone else know about it?

I’m wondering which of my idiot coworkers put the toaster oven right under the paper towel dispenser.  It’s an obvious safety hazard!

As well, why is the clock on the fax machine 1 hour 15 minutes ahead?  I can understand how it can be exactly 1 hour ahead as we’ve switched away from Daylight Savings Time 8 weeks ago.

What if Perception Enhanced individuals were in the majority?  You APA folks who are Perception Deficient would have to live in our world.  Suppose I were your boss: “Why didn’t you advise that woman to have her car’s fuel filter checked?  Why didn’t you have the pump serviced before it failed?  Didn’t you notice the sound it was making?  Relocate that toaster oven before it starts a fire!  Why haven't you fixed the clock on this fax machine yet?”

Anyway APA, instead putting so much energy into devising derogatory terms for us, tweaking diagnostic criteria, and developing treatments and therapies, you should direct most of your resources into changing society.  Promote acceptance of Perception Enhanced people and help us find ways to be rewarded for our strengths.

Collecting Found Objects

Yet another quirk I have is that I maintain a collection of unusual natural items, which includes small things such as cat whiskers and claws, feathers, nut shells (hickory and pistachio are my favorites) as well as larger items such as tree branches and rocks.

I imagine that the objects have a certain energy in them and that I'm a shaman who's able to tap into these energies, combine them and create Objects of Power with them.

At the very least, these objects can be used to adorn a wreath, picture frame or some other craft item.  Cat whiskers also have the very practical value of making good applicators of liquid adhesive or paint when a very fine bead is needed.  I can imagine creating a Cat Mask that uses actual cat whiskers.

Here's a photo of the smallest of my collections.   My daughter keeps the fur in her own collection in her room.  Larger items such as turkey feathers and sheets of bark are in a different collection.  The tree limb is all by itself on the porch.

Do you like to collect anything?  What do you collect and why?

Confessions of a Quirky Shopper

Sometimes a product's container influences me to buy the product that's in it.  There are a few different reasons for this.

On the practical end of the spectrum, a certain container might be easier to grip, operate or store.  One example is stick deodorant.  I prefer containers whose covers are flat on top so that I can store them upside-down on the shelf.  When there's only a small amount of deodorant left, the upside-down orientation has a lower center of gravity, so it is less prone to toppling over.  Mennen Speed Stick gets this.  Secondarily, the mechanism to advance the deodorant needs to be easy to turn.  Most containers provide a round knob that's shrouded by the base of the container.  However, a few, such as Degree or Dove for men, are set up so that the entire base can be turned to advance the deodorant.

More quirky is my habit of buying things in order to get a container to reuse for another purpose.  I prefer to buy food that comes in glass jars whose openings are as wide as the jar itself.  It's easy to fill jars like this with leftovers or homemade ghee, or to use them as vases.  The Bonne Maman fruit preserve jars (see picture) are ideal.  There are sauerkraut jars that are just as wide on top yet twice as tall to hold more.  (In fact, the lids are interchangeable.)  The jars for almond butter are pretty good, too.  They are just large enough for a batch of ghee made from one pound of butter.  So I keep on hand a small collection of empty jars from jam, sauerkraut and almond butter.

Empty soda bottles are easy to "repurpose," too.  You can cut one in half and use the top as a funnel, and the bottom can be used under a small houseplant to catch excess water.  Make the cut angled, and the bottom becomes a scoop.  An even better scoop can be fashioned from an empty gallon (or half-gallon) jug from milk, water or bleach.  Here's how: Hold it upside-down by the handle. Then lower it as you would a clothes iron so it's horizontal.  Cut away the part that's now the top.  The Instructables website shows many ways to repurpose ordinary throw-away items.  Altoid mint tins seem to be favorite boxes for projects -- they're the ideal size for a set of AA or AAA batteries plus some small electrical components.

Even those annoying blister packs can be useful.  The frustrating slipperiness and seeming indestructibility of of the material can be exploited for use as shims, drawer slides or furniture glides.

What are your favorite containers and what do you use them for?

Quirky in the Bedroom

Whoa, did I just title this "Quirky in the Bedroom?"  What was I thinking?

But it's true that my biggest quirk happens in the bedroom.  Umm, let me rephrase that.  My quirkiest behavior... -- no that's not gonna come out right, either.

Well, it has to do with the way I sleep.  Yes, sleep, or were you thinking of something else?

I already wrote about my "Hernia Rock" several days ago.  This is a warm stone I place on myself before I go to sleep.  But I do an even quirkier thing than that.

Here it is: I cover myself completely, from head to toe, when I lie down to sleep.  The sheet and comforter cover me from the foot end of the bed all the way up to my neck.  But I also cover my face with a black T-shirt.  I do this to block out all light from landing on my body.

You might wonder two things.  First you might wonder "Why can't you just turn off the lights -- isn't that dark enough?"  No it is not dark enough.  One of the windows is a large bow window.  Getting a room-darkening shade for that window is very impractical.  On nights when the moon is anywhere near to full, the room can be too bright.  Besides, skin can react to even tiny amounts of light.

The second thing you might wonder is, "How do you manage to breathe?"  That's good question.  But long-time readers will know (or may recall) that I have sleep apnea, so I wear a CPAP mask when I sleep.  This machine ensures that I have access to air, and the mask itself keeps the T-shirt from lying directly on my face.

This quirk, of course, creeps out my wife.  It makes her feel like she's sleeping next to a corpse.  It doesn't help that I have poor circulation in my extremities, so I'm cold to the touch.

Still want more quirks?  This is one of the better ones.  But I'll add a few others before Dec 1.

Quirky is RIght Up My Alley!

Yesterday's NaBloPoMo writing prompt was "Tell us about a quirk or odd habit that you have."  I have so many quirks and odd habits, this prompt could provide a month of posts on its own.

Let me share just one of my many quirks, which demonstrates my germophobic tendencies.

Whenever I need to pull a door open, I do not grab the handle with my entire hand.  I'm so reluctant to touch door handles that I use my pinky, or my sleeve, or (if I've just washed and dried my hands after using the bathroom) a paper towel.

I do this only in public.  At home, I don't bother, partly because most of the germs are mine or my family's, but also because my hands are usually already dirty from dog slobber, cat litter or cleaning household messes.

Would you like to know about my other quirks?

The Things I Say

A standard phrase I'd use at work was "It's not inadequate," which was my wise-ass way of endorsing results that I wasn't thrilled with.  A student's paper with a grade of "C" would be "not inadequate."  If I was even less thrilled, I might say, "It's not terribly inadequate."  This latter phrase was my euphemism for "good enough yet pretty lousy all the same."

But some people took it the wrong way.  They actually were pleased to receive this response.  They'd show me their design or report, and I'd say "that's not inadequate," and they'd smile proudly, as if I'd just affixed a gold star to it.

Well I don't use it any more, perhaps because it has lost it's intended impact.  Or perhaps because sarcasm is being discouraged in much the same way as discrimination -- it's just not professional.  The utterly flavorless "good" has supplanted my "it's not inadequate" nowadays.

My new phrase is now "Crapizoids," which I exclaim out loud to myself instead of, um, well, a four letter word that begins and ends exactly like "firetruck."  I say "Crapizoids" a lot, like when the e-mail client freezes just before I click "Send" on a message that took 30 minutes to compose and included several links to various documents scattered in remote and obscure parts of the network.  "Crapizoids" is for when I hurriedly press Ctrl-A (which selects all content), instead of the neighboring Ctrl-S (save), followed by the Enter key and the witty content of a new paragraph, which replaces all the selected content.  (The Undo feature is my best friend for a good reason, but sometimes it reverts away from good stuff, too.)  "Crapizoids" can be heard right after every power failure.

Right at the moment I'm writing this in a public library as I wait for my daughter's karate lesson to end.  And it has ended, so I have to leave this post without a snazzy ending.  Crapizoids!  I hope it's not too inadequate.

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Snoskred's response to the NaBloPoMo writing prompt, "Tell us about a quirk or odd habit that you have," inspired today's post.

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