The Magic of Suspenders

In December I made the switch from wearing a belt to wearing suspenders.

I had already bought pants with a larger waist to relieve the pressure on my abdomen.  But this meant that I had to wear a belt to keep the pants from falling down.  And a belt isn’t terribly effective if one’s waist greatly exceeds one’s hips.  So the new pants didn’t really change anything.  That’s when I decided to switch.

The first day that I replaced the belt with suspenders was magical.  I achieved the intended effect of relief around my waist.  But there were other improvements, too.

The first improvement was the illusion of becoming taller and slimmer.  With its two bold vertical lines replacing the single horizontal line of the belt, the suspenders had the same effect one gets by changing out of a sweater that sports horizontal stripes with another with vertical stripes.

The second improvement was that suspenders encouraged me stand more erect.  They reminded me that if I wanted to keep my pants in place, I shouldn’t slouch.  Better posture also made me taller and made me feel more confident.  And with the better posture, it was easier to suck in my gut.

The third improvement was style.  Before, I’d choose between a brown belt for khakis or a black belt for grey, black or navy blue pants.  But suspenders come in a much greater variety of colors and patterns, such as blue, red, gold, green, and solid, plaid, striped, argyle, that you can bring out an accent color from a plaid or checkered shirt.  Plus, you can find novelty suspenders that can show off your favorite hobby, passion or line of work.  For example, you can find themes of flyfishing, golf, camouflage, clovers, American flag, and the one that I chose, circuit board.

If you decide to make the switch, I strongly advise you to practice lowering your pants a few times lest you find yourself “in urgent need of a haircut”¹ and get stymied trying to drop your drawers quickly.

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¹A euphemism on Car Talk (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Car_Talk) for “desperately needing to go to the bathroom.”