Thursday, December 29, 2016

Dream: Lands End Scam

I'm sitting at home in a white undershirt and underpants when the doorbell rings. I realize it's the delivery man with the new cellphone. My wife is hobbling to the door. But I know that the package will require a signature, so I get up to sign for it. But then I realize I need to put on pants. Where did I leave them? I go from room to room quickly, almost frantically, searching for my clothes. Finally I find them, in a neat pile in front of the telephone in the kitchen. Meanwhile, my wife has let the man into the house and calls out to say that it's the man from Lands End. Still in my underwear, I encounter the man in a doorway. He's taller than me and dressed in a uniform – white shirt and blue pants – like a delivery man / courier.

The scene has shifted. I'm in an office, lit brightly with natural light from undressed windows. I'm certainly not on the ground floor; I'm perhaps at least three stories up. Suspicious, I question the man. I haven't ordered from Lands End in a long time. Maybe this is a scam to hijack my Lands End account. Maybe his showing up will compel me to log in to my Lands End account while an accomplice with a packet sniffer picks out my username and password. So I say, “When was the last time I ordered from Lands End?” “Oh, in 1951,” he lies. This bothers me. First, I was born in the sixties. Second, does he really think I look that old?*  So I say, “I'm calling the police.” He nods as if to say, “Oh well, you caught me.” It was just a threat – I was hoping he would run away. But he stays. My daughter is here, so I say to her, “Let me have your cellphone,” hoping to convince him I am serious.  She gives it to me. It occurs to me to use the cellphone to take a picture of the man. I get distracted trying to find the camera app. By the time I find it, the man has moved. I don't remember what he looked like, and there are two other men dressed just like him! Which one is he? Then I see that he is walking out the door.


The scene has shifted again. It is night time. I'm outside in a parking lot that looks as though it was hewn out of thick woods. The margins are irregular and there is no curb along the perimeter. The three men are now driving three separate white Cadillacs. They're leaving the parking lot. The first two are driving to the right, headed for the road. The third is driving straight away from me onto a dirt path. I get into my car. My daughter is in the driver's seat, so I get in on the passenger side and say, “Follow that car,” pointing to the third one. We both know she's an inexperienced driver – she just got her license. But I'm not really serious about “catching” this man, and I figure it would be a nice confidence booster for my daughter if demonstrate that I'm willing to depend on her for this kind of thing. I take out the cellphone and hold it up to aim at the car. I operate the laser pointer focusing beam. I see the red dot appear on the rear window of the car. The car stops and its lights go out.


* It doesn't occur to me that there was no Internet back in 1951.  Maybe there wasn't even a Lands End, either.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Wednesday Weigh-In 20161221

Well I do cheat on this diet. But I'm finding that I'm able to stop myself after just one or two cookies. Before, I'd stop only after eating the last cookie.

We had our first significant snow fall of the season. And I spent nearly two hours shoveling snow that morning. I wonder if that's why my body fat is one percent lower.

Waist = 40.25"
Height = 5' 9"

References:
  1. Wikipedia BMI page
  2. Tanita Scale with Body Fat monitor
  3. Javascript must be enabled to view the data.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Wednesday Weigh-In 20161214

Well, I've been cheating on my keto diet, so much so that I'm sure I'm not in ketosis any more. Last night I had a sickening amount of flavored whipped cream. I forgot that the volume of the final product doubles after whipping, so I started with a bit more than I needed to. I'm glad that only my waist measurement has gone up!

It occurred to me that ice cream makes a lot of sense. Heavy cream has such a short shelf life. Making ice cream is a great way to preserve it.

Waist = 40.25"
Height = 5' 9"

References:
  1. Wikipedia BMI page
  2. Tanita Scale with Body Fat monitor
  3. Javascript must be enabled to view the data.

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Wednesday Weigh-In 20161207

I'm surprised my numbers haven't increased since last week. I've been sneaking candy nearly every day. And last night I ate an entire 14" thin crust pizza. Yet my weight and fat are the same as last week, and my waist even went down. Then again, I slept very well.

Waist = 40.0"
Height = 5' 9"

References:
  1. Wikipedia BMI page
  2. Tanita Scale with Body Fat monitor
  3. Javascript must be enabled to view the data.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Weigh-In Eight Year Graphical Summary

Here is an eight year graphical summary of my weigh-in data.

I think the increase from November 2015 to June 2016 is because I was taking Lexapro.

I think the longer-spanned increase from about September 2013 to about November 2014 is related to a malfunctioning CPAP machine.