Figuratively Speaking, of Course...

...I pulled supper out of my ass again, figuratively speaking, of course.

My wife, experiencing nausea since May 29, was in no condition to even think about food tonight, never mind cook it. And she stopped shopping for food long ago, too.

So I rushed home to do the Mr. Mom thing. Cooked some turkey sausages with Vidalia onions, steamed some green beans and boiled some gluten-free pasta. My wife did feel well enough earlier in the day to make pesto, so I used that to top the pasta.

Everything came out great. But my wife barely touched the sausage.

Now, what am I gonna do about supper tomorrow? I will not serve fast food at our house.

Wednesday Weigh-In 20090729

I caved in to more sugar cravings. Plus my wife's nausea has lessened. So she's back in the kitchen making all kinds of great summer food using ingredients from our garden -- tabbouleh and potato salad, which I should avoid.

Waist = 36.5"
Height = 5' 9"

References:

1. Wikipedia BMI page
2. Tanita Scale with Body Fat monitor
3. Javascript must be enabled to view the data.

Cartoon on Healthcare Reform

"I love having my health care decisions made by insurance company accountants!"

Read the whole Tom Tomorrow cartoon.

The Day I Was Tested For Color Blindness

One ordinary day in elementary school, the school nurse tested our class for color blindness. Each of us was called to the nurses office, one-at-a-time.

She explained what she was doing, showed me a bunch of cards with dots on them that were gray and green, and she asked me what shapes I saw on them. The first two were easy. I saw that the green dots were arranged into a square and a circle.

The third card tripped me up. The green dots formed some sort of S shape, which I decided was not a proper shape. So I answered, "I don't see a shape."

"You don't see a shape?" asked the nurse, acting as if I'd just told her I hadn't had a bowel movement for 42 days.

"No." There was something about her that inspired me to be obstinate. I didn't feel like elaborating. Nor did I wish to seek clarification.

So after I looked at merely three cards, she dismissed me, and I went back to the classroom.

And as far as I know, that was it. My parents never raised the issue. I received the same lessons as everyone else, even in art class, despite my perceived handicap.

I don't consider myself color blind. Yet, the above image (borrowed from http://www.colorvisiontesting.com/ishihara.htm) looks like a bunch of pale green, green, and olive dots of different sizes. Which is a shame because apparently it has my favorite number on it.

If you're curious about color blindness, check out Colblindor, a website devoted to the topic. And I can see the shapes, numbers and lines pretty well on the Ishihara plates test. But that might be because they're scanned in and not true to their original color.

Feng Shui Notes MBR

Our Feng Shui friend didn't have too many negative things to say about our master bedroom. But she did offer recommendations:

• Fill the gaps in the headboard.
• Take out all the mirrors. They invite a third person into a marriage. Some think that even pictures with glass frames are just as bad.
  
• Don't store stuff under the bed. It weighs you down.
  
• The bread winner (that's me, apparently) should sleep so that the headboard faces Southwest. That's the wealth corner. (Conversely, my wife is supposed to sleep in the opposite direction.) But in our case, the position is impractical. This advice might be specialized for our Chinese zodiac "signs" which are Water and Rabbit for me, and Fire and Horse for my wife.
  
• Hang a picture of mountains above the headboard.
• Pink would be a better color for the walls. We have a soothing blue-green as shown in the older picture.
• Get rid of the plants. (I didn't hear / understand the reason for that, so I can't elaborate.)
• The long hallway causes Chi to concentrate and accelerate into the bedroom. A crystal hung in front of the door would help.
• The lamp in the bedroom that can be seen from the other end of our long hallway should be moved. She actually recommended to move it into the living room, but we need it in the bedroom.
• Make sure closet doors are closed when sleeping. When open, the doors aim negative Chi at the bed with their sharp edges.

This picture was taken after we had the room painted and got new bedding. The headboard hadn't arrived yet.

Save $5 on Supplements, Tea & Health Food

I'm sorry if this post reads like an advertisement.

I buy a lot of supplements, tea, and health foods. I found a good website, iHerb, to deliver what I want at a low cost, and I wanted to let you know about it.

Plus, if you use coupon code DOJ209, iHerb will take $5 off your first order. As well, I will receive 4% credit for your order under their Rewards Program, which you can sign up for, too.

Order $40 or more and get free shipping, although if you live on the US East Coast, it can take more than a week for the shipment to arrive.

I recommend that you copy / paste the coupon code: -->DOJ209<-- It's easy to confuse the letter "Oh" between the "D" and "J" and the zero between the 2 and 9. And they don't provide referrer links.

Sorry for the interruption. We now return you to your regular browsing.

Wednesday Weigh-In 20090722

I've been giving in to my craving for ice cream. B & J is on sale 2 for $7. Phish Food is just too amazing. The sweetness. The gooiness. The chewiness. The smoothness. It will inspire you, too, to invent words and write in incomplete sentences!

Waist = 36.25"
Height = 5' 9"

References:

1. Wikipedia BMI page
2. Tanita Scale with Body Fat monitor
3. Javascript must be enabled to view the data.

The Peek-a-Boo Shaving Brush

The morning after the bathroom mirror was replaced, I was getting ready to drive my wife to yet another new doctor. I was all set to shave when I remembered that my wife moved my shaving supplies yesterday when she cleared off the counter.

I looked for my shaving supplies first in my cabinet, which is where I usually put my stuff when I'm tired of looking at it. I found my old razor but not the new one and not my shaving brush. But just to be sure, I carefully looked at all the items on all the shelves just in case I overlooked something. But my new razor and shaving brush -- my supplies -- were not there. I took out the old razor and decided to use that.

I figured that my shaving brush was in the cabinet under the sink. It's my wife's favorite spot for stashing things she'd rather not see or have other people see. My neti pot often ends up there. I took a quick look, but I couldn't find it. There was a clear location for it, too, right in front, which is where the neti pot goes. But the neti pot was on the counter. And the shaving brush was not to be found.

I did find my new razor, though. So I looked a bit more carefully and thoroughly in that bottom cabinet. I looked behind tall objects. I looked inside small boxes. I felt around with my fingers. I was sure the shaving brush was not there.

Meanwhile, my wife was sleeping, gathering strength so that she can discuss her condition yet again with a new doctor. I didn't want to wake her, so I looked for my shaving brush in the shower. After all, I sometimes shave in the shower and leave the brush in there. But it wasn't there.

I looked in the cabinet that's above the toilet. (We have a lot of cabinet space in our bathroom.) Sill, there was no sign of the shaving brush.

I peeked in the waste bin, just in case. It was nearly empty.

I had no other choice but to ask my wife what she did with it.

"Where's my shaving brush?"

"I left it in the cabinet, under the sink."

"I already looked there. I can't find it."

I walked back to the bathroom ahead of my wife to again look in the cabinet under the sink very carefully to avoid embarrassment. As I walked, I faintly detect sighing and a bit of grumbling coming from the bedroom.

She peered inside the cabinet with me. Pointing to the empty space, she said she left it there.

It was when I was focusing on that empty space, hoping the brush would materialize, when I heard my wife say,

"You're looking for your shaving brush, right? The one that's right on the counter?"

It was, as she said, right on the counter. Where I always keep it. Amazing.

If she weren't so sick, I'd be certain that she had played a trick on me. But I have to consider some other possibilities:

1. I'm nuts.
2. Something about the new mirror changed the energy in the room. The brush was momentarily caught in a null part of the energy field, causing photons to bend around it rather than bounce off it.
3. I'm really nuts.
   

Obviously the answer is #2. Hahaha, okay it's #3. I guess what happened is that I was paying more attention to my internal visual memory of the barren countertop that I saw on Wednesday rather than the actual countertop with the stuff on it.

Or maybe I really started out looking for my razor, which I couldn't find. When I found my old razor, I probably decided that my shaving brush was with the new razor and not in plain sight on the counter. And I did find my new razor in the cabinet under the sink. But, of course, the shaving brush was not with it, which caused me no end of concern.

This is all pretty scary, especially considering that I drive a car and design things that go into missiles and satellites.

Hi-Def in the Bathroom

From reading the post title, you might think we installed an HDTV in our indoor outhouse.

But if you've been reading this blog long enough, you know that I like to lead you astray. You're right.

What we installed yesterday was a new bathroom mirror. And the way this relates to HDTV is that our old mirror was so non-reflective that the change we see in ourselves is like switching from analog TV to HDTV.

I can see myself so clearly that I kind of long for the old mirror, which, incidentally, was manufactured in the same year I was born. Every pore, wrinkle and chicken pox scar now shouts out "Look at me!"

So we're almost done Feng Shui-ing in the loo. All that's left is to put up that waterfall picture where the fish picture was, and hang the mirror on the outside of the door.

But we have lots to do all over the house. Stay tuned for more exciting (albeit non-loo-related) Feng Shui news!

Wednesday Weigh-In 20090716

Yes I know it's Thursday, but I forgot to "take data" yesterday. And today's waist measurement is carried over from last week's -- I forgot to do it this morning.

Waist = 36.25"
Height = 5' 9"

References:

1. Wikipedia BMI page
2. Tanita Scale with Body Fat monitor
3. Javascript must be enabled to view the data.

Feng Shui Notes 1

We were very lucky to have a friend of a friend offer to do a free feng shui consultation over the weekend.

The issues we face:

1. My wife's vexing health issues.
2. Our inability to build up any savings.

It may be that our bathroom could be contributing to both issues. We had a picture of a fish in the bathroom. She said that this is money going down the toilet. Also, since the bathroom is centrally-located in the house, our health was also going down the toilet. Here's the remedy:

1. Place a mirror on the outside of the door.
2. Replace the mirror that overlooks the sink.
3. Keep the toilet lid down.
4. Keep the door closed.
5. Replace the "fish" picture with a waterfall picture.
6. Keep the drains "stopped."
7. Tie a 9" length of red string around each drain pipe.

So far we did 3 - 7 with one exception -- 5. We did remove the fish picture, and I have a photograph of a waterfall that I could have developed into a 8x10 as a replacement.

She spent about two and a half hours with us. I'll write down more notes in later posts.

Enneagram Test Results

I come out as a blend of the following Enneagram Types:







What type are you?

Envy of the Medical Specialist

I used to envy meteorologists because no matter how wrong their forecasts, people continue to listen to them. They have no qualms about predicting snowfall amounts "anywhere from three to nine inches." That's like following a recipe that tells you to bake for about an hour, give or take 30 minutes! Then, the day after said storm, in which about one inch fell, they'll just blame it on "the computer model."

But my weather-person envy ended when my wife went on the "find a doctor to cure this crushing, relentless fatigue and endless, sickening nausea" odyssey. Now, I envy medical specialists.

Fatigue and nausea are frustrating symptoms for a doctor to treat. There are no blood tests or radiographs that can quantify how tired a person is, or how close that person is from lurching toward the exam room's wastepaper bin and retching in it. No matter. If the primary care physician refers his patient to you to test for a disease, all you have to do is order a blood test. If it comes back negative, you're in the clear. If it comes back positive (which is unlikely), you can prescribe meds and reorder the blood tests until they come back negative. Or you can just report the outcome of the test and let the referring physician prescribe treatment. Either way, you don't actually have to relieve the patient's symptoms! Because when it comes to fatigue and nausea, it's your word against that of your blood test. And who's the doctor going to listen to?

Yes, I dream of a career in which I can cure blood tests.

Wednesday Weigh-In 20090708

Waist = 36.25"
Height = 5' 9"

References:

1. Wikipedia BMI page
2. Tanita Scale with Body Fat monitor
3. Javascript must be enabled to view the data.

Wednesday Weigh-In 20090701

Waist = 36.25"
Height = 5' 9"

References:

1. Wikipedia BMI page
2. Tanita Scale with Body Fat monitor
3. Javascript must be enabled to view the data.