Cat Litter Review Addendum -- Feline Pine

This is an addendum to the review of Feline Pine cat litter¹ that I posted in November 2019.

Dust

I had written that the dust it produces is comparable to the dust you get by sawing wood with a crosscut saw.  That’s true at first.  But if left to sit around for two weeks, the dust continues to break down into smaller pieces, and it does become airborne.  So in that regard, I am disappointed with this litter.

Disposal

I also mentioned that I might apply the used litter to the icy driveway to improve traction.  I’m happy to report that the used Feline Pine improves traction on my snowy and icy driveway very well.  It’s the best stuff to pre-treat with prior to an ice storm because the occasional full-size pellets get stuck in the ice and protrude high enough to give your shoe or tire something to grip onto.  Sand, in comparison, can get covered in ice.  The used Feline Pine also seems not to wash away too quickly.

Figuring that it’s a nitrogen-rich mulch, I’ve applied it also to the lawn using a broadcast spreader.  But I did so only on the rare occasion when I was motivated to do so.  More often I’d bag it and put it in the garbage.  Anyway, the lawn still looks just as shabby as it ever did.  But at least it’s still alive.

Odor control

While it is effective at controlling urine odor, it does a poor job of containing poop smells when new.  The large pellets leave too many air gaps, allowing “stool gas” to escape and pervade a small house.  But once the pellets start break down, the stool gets a coating of dust and doesn’t out-gas so much.

Noise

I didn’t mention this in my initial review, but the litter is very noisy.  So this is the last litter you’d want to use in a bedroom.  The sound of a cat pawing through it is like hearing a box of Lego bricks tumble back and forth.  And if you tend to maintain the litterbox early in the morning or late at night when other family members are asleep, you’ll cringe at the noise when you pour in new litter to top it off.

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¹ https://square--peg.blogspot.com/2019/11/cat-litter-review-feline-pine-original.html

Cat Litter Review -- Tidy Cats 24/7 Performance

Tidy Cats 24/7 Performance clay cat litter was the first cat litter we ever used.  It seemed fine while all the litterboxes were confined to the basement.  But soon after we introduced the first box onto the main level, we realized we needed a product that produced less dust.

Here are what I consider the pros and cons to Tidy Cats:

Great Packaging
Tidy Cats comes in study containers that can be repurposed.  Depending on the size, it comes in either jugs or pails; both are plastic and resealable.  Even though we stopped using it many years ago, we still have a few pails left that we use to store bird seed, sand or spent cat litter.

Flows Well Through Scoop

The individual pellets are spherical and uniform in size, so they flow well through even the finest scoop.

Good Odor Control
Odor was never a problem unless a cat peed outside the box or didn’t bury the Number Two well enough.

Ubiquitous – even our grocery store carries it
It’s convenient if your go-to brand of cat litter is available at the local “Brick & Mortar” stores you regularly shop at.  Back in the days before Internet and automatic delivery, I’d buy the stuff in a regular store.  Occasionally I’d notice that it’s marked down in price at the grocery store.

Good clumping
It clumps fairly well, yet also seems to drain.  It was important for us to keep up the depth of the litter in the box.  Otherwise, a messy, stinky slurry of clay and cat pee would remain on the bottom of the box.  World’s Best is better at clumping, but it doesn’t drain well.

Low “unit” cost
The higher cost of other cat litters was what kept me hooked on Tidy Cats for so low.  But my method of comparing prices is not well-suited for comparing cat litters.  I usually choose the product with the lowest unit cost, where the units are weight.  However, the important unit of measure for cat litter is volume.  Once I realized that, it put competing brands on a more level playing field.


What we didn’t like:

Dust
As noted above, dust was the main reason we stopped using it.

Not Compostable
Used clay cat litters either go into the trash or get dumped onto a pile in our woods.

Extremely Heavy
Even the smallest portion is 14lb.  Larger sizes are 20lb, 27lb, 35lb.

Cat Litter Review -- Feline Pine Original Non-Clumping Litter

We’re transitioning from World’s Best clumping litter to a non-clumping dust-free litter.  We’re currently trying Feline Pine Original Non-Clumping Litter.

Please note that an addendum to this review has been posted.  You can find it here:

https://square--peg.blogspot.com/2022/02/cat-litter-review-addendum-feline-pine.html

We like it so far for the following reasons:

Drains Very Quickly
As mentioned before, we have one cat who’s a very Prolific Peer (PP).  His output is so voluminous that he can wet himself in a box full of quick-clumping litter.  As soon as his pee hits the clumping litter, the litter solidifies.  Then as his stream continues (and continues and continues) it forms a puddle that splashes up onto him.  But this non-clumping litter is both very absorbent and drains very quickly, so our PP cat stays dry.

Produces “Friendlier” Dust
The way this works is that when the pellets get soaked with pee, they break down into saw dust, which, as its name implies, is still dust.  So technically, this is not dust-free litter.  However, nearly all the dust particles are fairly large, so they don’t float in the air.  Imagine the saw dust you get by sawing wood with a crosscut saw.  The litter gets no smaller than this.

Compostable
This is made from natural pine and is free of chemicals.  It will eventually decompose, so it can be composted.  I dumped a large bunch of it in our composter, but it’s still somewhat intact.  Then I decided I would try to fertilize the lawn with it, since it seems to be compatible with the broadcast spreader.  I might also sprinkle it in the driveway to improve traction on snowy days.

Ubiquitous – even our favorite grocery store carries it
I usually get this from an online pet store with a Repeat Delivery service.  But if I had to I could pick up a spare bag at the grocery store.

Odor Control
It’s surprisingly effective at suppressing odor.  However, I do sift it at least every two weeks because only the pellets can contain the odor.  The saw dust does smell if it becomes pee-drenched.

Long Lasting
The 20lb bag is lasting longer than I expected.  You need only a one-inch layer in a box.  This makes it easier for our older cats to step into the box as they don’t have to step too high.  As well, this litter seems to be superior to World’s Best and ökocat in terms of monthly cost, provided that I continue to sift it.


What we don’t like:

Heavy / Bulky / Awkward to Carry and Pour
The 20lb bag is flimsy, so it’s awkward to pour with precision.  Pouring gets easier as the bag gets emptier.  The bags usually have puncture holes in them.

Not Our Cats’ First Choice
The “go-to” litter boxes in our home are the ones filled with World’s Best.  I think only our PP cat prefers Feline Pine, and almost never for pooping.  He doesn’t care to bury his business.  My guess is that the other two cats prefer the clumping litter because it’s easier for them to bury their business in it.

Cat Litter Review -- ökocat Dust Free Paper Non-Clumping

We tried ökocat non-clumping paper cat litter for a short while, as I wrote in my Nov 1 Halloween post.  We’d liked it for the following reasons:

Drains Very Quickly
We have one very Prolific Peer (PP).  His output is so voluminous that he can wet himself in a box full of quick-clumping litter.  As soon as his pee hits the clumping litter, it solidifies.  Then as his stream continues (and continues and continues) it forms a puddle that splashes up onto him.  But the non-clumping paper litter from ökocat drains very quickly, so our PP cat stays dry.

Totally Dust Free
There is absolutely no dust produced.  Period.

Light Weight
This is lightest litter I’ve ever used.

Compostable
Because it’s made from paper, it will eventually decompose, so it can be composted.  I dumped a bunch of it in the summer, but I don’t see it anymore.

Ubiquitous – even our grocery store carries it
I first discovered this cat litter in my favorite grocery store.  It was on sale, plus I had a coupon for it.  I happened to be looking for a non-clumping dust-free litter, so I decided to try it.  Then a while later I got concerned because there was none left, and I thought the store discontinued it.  But, no, it’s back on the shelf.

What we don’t like:

Odor Control
This litter reeked of pee within two weeks of my introducing it in our home.  The only solution was to dump it out.  I decided I didn’t want to have to replace it every two weeks, so I stopped buying it.  Except I still had one box left, which I used for my Halloween costume.

I plan to keep the one unused box.  It might come in handy to clean up liquid spills.  I’m fortunate that our two cars don’t leak oil – I wish I had a box of ökocat around when I had my Audi.

#NaBloPoMo2019

Cat Litter Review -- World's Best Clumping Formula

We have eight litter boxes set up in our home.  Two are on the main level; six are in the basement.

Currently we use World’s Best Clumping Formula cat litter in five of the boxes.  It's packaged in a green and black bag.  We like it for the following reasons:

Great clumping, even near the sides of the box
If you’re gonna scoop, you’ll want the clumps to remain intact and not fall apart as you perform your duty.  Compared with the two other clumping brands that we’ve tried (Tidy Cats and Naturally Fresh), World’s Best seems to form the most robust clumps.

Low cost
I’ve seen World’s Best priced as low as $1 per lb.  (In fact, we use our pet supplier’s “Auto Ship” service and get additional discount and free shipping.)  But what really matters is the cost per volume.  The 7lb bag is all you’ll need to fill one empty litter box.  It’s generally more expensive than Tidy Cats, but cheaper than Naturally Fresh.

Ubiquitous – even our grocery store carries it
It’s convenient if your go-to brand of cat litter is available at the local “Brick & Mortar” stores you regularly shop at.  Occasionally I’ll need an extra bag, or I might walk by and notice that it’s marked down in price.  While Tidy Cats also is widely available, Naturally Fresh is a bit harder to find.

Compostable
Because it’s made from corn, World’s Best will eventually decompose, so it can be composted.  It does take quite a long time for this, though, perhaps more than six months.  I suppose the same can be said for Naturally Fresh, although I’ve never tried it.  Tidy Cat is clay and is not considered compostable.


What we don’t like:

Dust
World’s Best claims to be 99% dust free.  What does that mean, exactly?  My guess is that if you put 100 units in a box, then over a period of time 1 unit of it will become airborne while 99 units remain in the box.  What’s the period of time?  The lifetime of 1 month, perhaps?  What are the units?  Weight?  Volume?  Nevertheless, it emits less dust than Tidy Cats and, I think, Naturally Fresh, which claims to be “virtually dust-free.”  This is the main reason we switched away from Tidy Cats and then from Naturally Fresh.  I’m still looking for a product with less of a by product of dust.

Slow to drain
We have one very Prolific Peer (PP).  His output is so voluminous that he wets himself because his stream splashes up from the puddle he produces.  This is the main reason we’ve started to swap out the clumping litter with non-clumping.  The non-clumping litter (Feline Pine) drains very quickly, so our PP cat stays dry.

Punctured Packaging
Occasionally we’ll get a bag that’s punctured.  So far, we’ve not had any brand new cat litter that’s been exposed to water.  But a couple of bags have leaked a small amount of product.  It’s always pretty obvious when you get a punctured bag – it tends to look as though it has air in it rather than “vacuum-packed.”

Corn
I’m not a fan of corn.  I can’t eat too much of it because it gives me joint pain.  I wonder if just breathing in its dust can bother me.  And what effect does it have on the cats?  We have one cat who needs anti-seizure medication and another that seems to have upper respiratory problems and eye discharge.  I’m hoping that they’ll improve as we transition to more non-clumping litter.

Slow Flow Through Scoop
I ended up buying a new scoop, one with a larger grid pattern, because this litter doesn't flow well through a typical scoop.  The granules are irregularly shaped, unlike the spherical granules that make up the clay litter I was accustomed to.

#NaBloPoMo2019

Smart Dog

My wife and I were making the grocery list.

“We need more canned salmon.  I’ve been eating it, lately,” said my wife.

“Oh, do you make it like tuna salad?”

“No, I just eat it out of the can.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised.  “But it has bones in it!  Do you eat the bones?”

“Yes, I just mash them up, first.”

“Good.  They’re a good source of calcium,” I stated.

Suddenly our dog excitedly ran into the kitchen.  “What’s up with him?” asked my wife.

I smiled when I realized.  He heard us talking about bones.

Smart dog.

#NaBloPoMo2019

Halloween 2019 -- The Litterbox Costume

I dressed up as a litterbox yesterday.  This was an easy, low-cost outfit.

• Cardboard box – free (with a delivery from Petco)
• Okocat non-clumping paper litter¹ – about $3 (It was marked down and I had a coupon)
• New pooper-scooper – 97 cents
• Safety glasses – free (Household item)
• Dust mask -- free (Household item)
• Zip-Lock bag – free (Household item)
• Tootsie Rolls -- about $3
• Other Assorted Chocolate -- free (Household items)

The Okocat paper litter was a good choice for this project.  It’s extremely light weight, and the granules aren’t so small as to leak through any gaps in the box or in my pants.  I had some lying around because I tried it out with the cats, and I found that it would quickly get saturated with pee.  The entire litterbox had to be emptied and refilled with fresh litter about once a week.  This reminds me, I’m planning on writing a review of cat litters soon.

So, did you dress up for Halloween?  What was your costume?

#NaBloPoMo2019

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¹ https://www.healthy-pet.com/products/dust-free-paper-natural-litter
² Photo credit: anonymous coworker

Ultimate Litterbox

The ultimate litterbox is not one that you buy; it’s one that you make yourself!

I’ve searched for years for a solution to our cats’ peeing out of the box problems.

One cat is big and tends to lift his back end when peeing, so I needed a big and tall box. Or he stands in the middle and pees over the edge.  All the covered boxes are too small, and some are even made so that pee that’s sprayed against the side would seep out between the bottom and lid mating surface!

Another cat was bullied away from all the boxes, so he’d pee in entirely different rooms and places, such as on my daughter’s desk. (We re-homed him.)

Another cat is just incontinent and can’t seem to wake up and move to the litterbox in time. Or he’s otherwise demented.

The last cat has no excuse. She’s young and healthy, but she just felt like joining in on the pissing contest!

But ever since re-homing the “Pariah Cat” and intruducing the Ultimate Litterbox, we’ve been pee-free (knock on wood).

Here’s what you do (doo):

1. Start out with a Sterilite tote box, one that’s at least 18” inches tall. I got mine at Walmart for a mere $10 or so. (Maybe it was so cheap because they were all out of lids.) Look for a container with as few “ribs” as possible. You want an inner surface that’s easy to scoop and won’t accumulate waste. Also, note that the clear or transparent boxes (such as the one shown on the right) are much harder to cut. They require a coping saw to cut the opening. The one pictured on the left is the recommended type.  It's easy to cut and the used litter slides right off.
2. Use a box cutter or pocket knife to cut an opening in the side that’s about 7” wide by 9” tall and starts about 6” from the bottom. You can adjust this to suit your cats’ needs. A less mobile cat might need the opening to be lower for easier access. You might make it narrower for a normal weight cat; this was made for our big Tom who’s halfway to being a bobcat.
3. Fill with your favorite cat litter. I used nearly an entire 28lB bag of World’s Best.
4. Sprinkle a cat attractant at the far end to entice the cat to move all the way into the box. This should prevent a cat from peeing out the opening.
5. Place the box on a waterproof mat just in case. The mat pictured here is a Litter Mat. Be sure to choose one that won’t let liquid seep through. Most are woven fiber and inexplicably will let pee through and trap it against the floor – a disaster on a wood floor!

Try it and let me know how you fare.  You might even try it with the lid on, too, if you have a cat that's used to a covered box.

Good luck!

The Litterbox Diaries

Do you remember "Pee-meister" the cat?  I gave him this name when I caught him peeing in the dry food bowl.  I set up a special litterbox in our master bedroom just for him so he could poop and pee without the other cats bothering him.  We kept the door closed because all the other cats wanted to use that new litterbox, and Pee-meister (a very vocal cat) would sit at the closed door and meow until we let him in.

The reason Pee-meister stopped using the other litterboxes was because he was being tormented by NervousCat.  The next chapter in this saga is that NervousCat started to torment GentleSimba.  That's when we found poop on our daughter's bed and poop and pee in an open cardboard box that had candles in it.  GentleSimba, too, needed some other place to go.

So I assembled a litterbox from a plastic storage box and shredded newspaper in it.  This turned out to be wildly popular, and I was changing newspaper sometimes twice each day!

The peeing and pooping in inappropriate places was solved.  But this solution was not good for the long term.  First of all, someone had to be home most of the day to let Pee-meister into the master bedroom.  Second, shredding fresh newspaper and replacing the old took a lot of time.  Third, the scoopable clay litter was terribly dusty, so everything in the master bedroom quickly became covered with dust.  But worst of all was that the cats sometimes would fail to squat before peeing; they would shoot pee on the hardwood floors, which are now horribly stained.

So we changed things around yet again.

First, we replaced the run-of-the-mill rectangular box in the master bedroom with a Booda Clean Step Litter Box, which we figured would contain the dust and prevent errant streams of pee from hitting the floor.  And we eliminated the dusty scoopable clay litter.  We filled it instead with World's Best Cat Litter, a fairly low-dust-producing scoopable litter.  And lastly we kept the bedroom door open so that Pee-meister didn't have to meow his way in.  But the box was a bit too small for GentleSimba.  He wouldn't bother to walk all the way inside, so his pee ran down the ramp and spilled onto the floor.  So we put a sturdy piece of plastic topped with newspaper under the ramp.  If you can't contain the pee, at least confine it to one spot that can be well-protected.

Then we made a new large litterbox from a 90-gallon storage container and set this up in the office.  I cut a U-shaped opening on one of the narrow sides for easy entry.  We filled it with Naturally Fresh scoopable litter, which is made from walnut shells.  This is another low-dust-producing litter.  Dust is especially bad in the office -- it will get into the printer and computer and cause early failure.  As I expected, streams of pee occasionally came out through the U-shaped hole.  But I was prepared this time with sturdy plastic topped with newspaper.

I decided we should use a low-dust litter in the laundry room, too.  This area in the basement houses our washing machine and clothes dryer, plus the boiler and well pump.  We hang clothes there to dry, too.  All the dust from the clay litter has been getting into the armatures and bearings of all the motors, and getting on the clothes.  I chose the World's Best Cat Litter for this only because it's available not just in the pet store but also in all the supermarkets we shop at.

There is one cat that continues to use the clay litter exclusively, so I wonder if we'll be able to eliminate it completely.

The Bad Dog

In the movie, "A Christmas Story," there's a brief but memorable scene in which several dogs barge in and steal the roasted Christmas turkey prior to the meal.

We had our own ravenous dog scene, except that this involved just one dog and a three-quarter pound of leg of lamb for Thanksgiving that was left over after carving.  So fortunately, it didn't spoil the Thanksgiving meal because I'd already sliced most of it, but it did leave me without enough leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

The biggest problem is that the hunk of meat was still in the netting when he ate it.  And so the dog ate the netting, too.  A foreign object like string in a dog's digestive system can be a serious problem as this article describes.  I found some netting in his poop this morning, but I think there's more inside.  Hopefully he'll be okay.  He's eating well and pooping well, and I don't see blood in the stool.

That would be something -- mad at the dog for eating about $8 of meat plus having to pay for abdominal surgery on top of that.

Pee-Meister the Squirt

The vet doesn't believe me, but our eight year old neutered male cat masturbates on my lap.

He has always been my lap cat.  Even on his very first day with us, he preferred to curl up on my lap and fall asleep.  Sometimes he would knead my thighs for a short while beforehand.

But for the past two months he's been acting out almost exactly as described in this web article, in which the vet wrote that it's sexual behavior.  The only difference between that cat and mine is that my cat thrusts on my lap, not next to me.  He briefly touches his hindquarters down and leaves a small wet spot on my pants.

On one such occasion, he suddenly decided to mount another cat that had been sleeping right next to me.  That's Mounted, as in jumping on the other cat's back and biting the back of his neck, the way you see the lions do it on those nature programs.

This isn't the first time I've written about this cat.  You might remember him better as "Pee-Meister," depicted here.

Well, our vet said it was impossible for a neutered cat to behave this way.  He claimed that the cat was simply marking me with urine.  He prescribed Vallium, which is supposed to address urination issues.  And he recommended that we give one tablespoon of camomile tea to each of the other cats, just to calm everyone down.

Well, I refused to give the Vallium to Pee-Meister, especially considering the diagnosis was incorrect.  But all the cats, including Pee-Meister, are getting the tea.  The specific recipe is to steep one standard camomile tea bag in 4 ounces of hot water for ten minutes.  Store the brewed tea in the refrigerator.  Then add one tablespoon of the cold tea to the cat's food once each day.  Here's a reference to a website that recommends 1/2 tsp camomile tea.  That's one-sixth the amount recommended by my vet.  But then again we have Big Cats.

So should we continue to call him "Pee-Meister," or would "Squirt" be better?

Cat Cravings

I was preparing my usual low-fuss breakfast this morning -- almond butter on spelt toast, which I then top with blueberries.  After the toast popped up, I placed it on the kitchen table on a plate.  Then I turned to prepare some tea.

Soon I heard "lap lap lap lap lap..."  I turned to look at the noise.  The cat was licking my toast.

I'll repeat that.  The Cat.  Was Licking.  My Toast.

My toast!  Not My Bacon, or My Breakfast Sausage, or my Egg-Crust-Pizza.  He was licking my toast, with his cat saliva tongue, which had just licked his own fur and whatever was clinging to it.

"No, please stop," I said gently.  Gently, because I know about food addiction.  I know he's not thinking, "Let's piss the human off by licking his toast."  He's thinking, "I really, really, Really, REALLY need to lick that."  (Perhaps the moist warmth exuded by the toast reminded him of a freshly decapitated mouse carcass.)

Gently, also, because he's a big cat -- 22 pounds -- and a formidable opponent.  I lose my balance whenever he rubs against my legs.  One time, hissing and spitting, he took a swipe at the dog's nose and missed.  He raked my kneecap instead.  I'm sure he shape-shifted briefly into a bobcat, too.

So I fended him off while I spread on the almond butter.  I guessed that the almond butter would mask whatever was attracting him to the toast.  Sure enough, he lost interest and strode away.


Wheat gluten is added to some cat food in order to provide taurine, an essential amino acid.  Could our cat food be deficient in taurine?  I always buy food that has added taurine and no wheat gluten, But maybe the pet food manufacturer is cutting back on the formula.


Do your pets occasionally show unusual preferences for human food?  What are they?

Status of the Pee-Meister

Here's a followup to Conversing With Cat, the post about the cat with litterbox aversion that peed in the bowl of dry cat food.

I added a fifth litterbox to our household.  I put it on the main level in the master bedroom.  The other four boxes are in the lower level.

We have to keep the bedroom door closed now.  Otherwise our huge dominant cat tries to pee in it and often misses.  I don't mind if he misses the box in the laundry room.  The floor is concrete and it's out of the way enough that we can cover the pee with extra cat litter.  But this new box is right next to the bed, in front of the nightstand.  So the Pee-meister sits outside the door and meows until someone opens it for him.  Or sometimes I'll carry him into the room if I sense that he needs to go.

It's a solution in that he no longer pees where he shouldn't.  But he's still wary of the other cats.  And they still like to stalk him when he walks the long hallway after using the new litterbox.  And he needs human intervention when he needs to go.

The ultimate solution is for him to get over his aversion to the litterboxes in the lower level.  Not sure how to do that, except perhaps by moving the new (and presumably much cleaner) box downstairs and putting one of the old boxes in the bedroom.  If he's associated the smell of the old box to his overall aversion, then he might avoid the box in the bedroom and seek out the new box in the lower level.

I'll keep you posted.

Conversing with Cat

I watched in utter disbelief Friday morning as my favorite cat squatted on the bowl of dry food and peed.  It was a long drawn out pee, as if he'd been holding it in all day.  And because the bowl was small and the stream forceful, the pee shot out behind him onto the floor, forming a rivulet that meandered in front of (and under) the stove.

Ordinarily this kind of undesired behavior is not tolerated in any household.  Most cat owners would intervene immediately.  But I had sympathy for this cat.  I've been in very similar "urgent pee" situations, and I'd be rather upset and indignant if, during my moment of ecstatic release, someone were to scream at me or spray me with a water bottle or wrap me up in a towel and toss me into a bathtub.  So I watched in rapt fascination for the 45 seconds it took for his bold effluence to taper down to nothing.

Besides, I was certain there was a very good reason for the new behavior -- one that would be addressed with a caring intelligent solution, as opposed to disciplinary measures.

One might jump to the conclusion that he's sick of the food.  No, that wasn't it.  Well, to him it's not really food.  He eats the dry food only when it's mixed with wet food.  So the first thing I surmised is that he was avoiding the litterboxes.  Indeed, the other three cats have been acting aggressively toward him.  The morning ritual was that after they ate their morning meal, and moseyed downstairs to do their business, they would chase Pee-meister back upstairs in a fury of hissing.  Now even the timid new cat is involved in the chase.  So he must have decided to stay away from the litterboxes.  For how long, I have no idea -- probably a full day.

I noticed afterwards that he was looking intently in the direction of the basement stairs.  So I carried him calmly and gently downstairs, and we walked over to the litterboxes.  I placed him on the floor.  He went immediately toward the nearest box and Pooped.

The next day he did the exact same thing, only this time I wasn't there to witness it.  Again he pooped as soon as I placed him near the boxes.  And again this morning.

Experts say that you should have at least one litterbox for each cat plus one extra.  Also the litterboxes should be on all levels of the house.  And they should be placed in various locations.  We break all three recommendations.  We have only four litterboxes for our four cats.  They are all downstairs.  Three of the litterboxes are tucked into an alcove that once served as a dry bar.  If some cat bully wanted to make another cat's life miserable, it would be easy for him just to prowl near the narrow stairs and pounce on the other cat during every bathroom break.

On Sunday there was not a repeat pee incident (or would that be a re-peet?).  Here are the actions I took:

1. Carry the cat to the litterboxes twice each day.
2. Use the piss-bowl for water instead of dry food.
3. Switch to a previous brand of dry food (which he sort of eats) placing into a different bowl.

I will also somehow install a new litterbox in the upstairs master bedroom.  (I write "somehow" because the dog sleeps in the bedroom at night, and he's partial to the delicacies that cats leave in their litterboxes.  He really enjoyed the pee-marinated kibble.)  I will also fully trim the bully-cat's claws so that instead of deadly daggers of death, they will be merely blunt bully boogers.

One lingering concern I have is that Pee-meister might be sick.  The humans from Biblical times had no qualms about ostracizing and attacking the weak, diseased and decrepit, so I wonder if our cats are this way, too.  Fortunately, Pee-meister is still eating and drinking well.

Stay tuned to this cat channel for more on this topic!

Cat Number Four

My Mother-in-Law had been feeding the cats in her backyard for several months. One of her customers took residence under her porch and produced two kittens. The little Tom was killed when he tried the cross the busy road. So my mother-in-law allowed the little Queen to live inside her enclosed porch. But the porch is unheated, and she couldn't keep the kitten in the main part of the house. So she implored her daughter and granddaughter to adopt her.

My wife drove the cat home three weeks ago. By now we have an established procedure for adopting a new cat. (You can't just let loose a new cat into a home with an established cat population. The existing cat will threaten and possibly attack the newcomer.) We placed the new cat in the laundry room with her own food and water bowls and litterbox. It's not a large area, but it turned out to have a few great spots for hiding. My wife repeatedly asked me to "find" the cat because she (my wife) worried that the cat disappeared. So twice I dragged the cat from remote corners of the laundry room.

Then my wife decided to let the cat into a more comfortable area -- the carpeted part of the basement. Overnight, the cat again "disappeared," but there was a clue as to where she went -- the broken overhead light diffuser indicated that she had gotten into the drop ceiling where she spent the entire next day.

When I got home that night, both my wife and daughter were peering into the drop ceiling trying to locate the cat. They finally lured it out into an open area of the ceiling, so that I was able to remove tiles one-by-one to try to catch it. Eventually the only remaining tile was the one she was sitting on, but she managed to scoot away. At least my daughter saw the direction that the cat took off in, and I located the hiding spot. Finally, I grabbed the cat and dragged it from its spot.

I was very impressed by the cat's good behavior. No, not the shyness and aversion to us moving, living, breathing animals. But it tolerated all my somewhat manly handling without much protest, even though it was clearly terrified.

The cat is now upstairs with us in the Master bedroom and hides under the bed or in the closet. But it does sleep on a small afghan on the floor when we're not around and even cavorts playfully after we go to bed. She will not go on the bed unless my wife picks her up and places her there. Then she will stay for as long as she's being petted or brushed, and then toddles off to her hiding spot.

I don't like to use the flash when photographing cats, but I did in this case. Here she is, peering out at me from under the bed, more fur than flesh:

Things I Say to the Cat

This is tangentially inspired by Sh*t My Dad Says....

• Stop torturing it and eat it already!
• How can you be hungry? You just ate an hour ago!
• That's a carpet, not an ass-wipe.
• Yes, I know the dog's feet smell amazing. Now leave him alone.
• Where's the mouse toy? I can't believe you let it escape under the refrigerator.
• That's my lap, not a pin cushion.
• What, I should feed you again just because you threw up?
• Oh kitty! I have a nice, tasty moth for you to eat!
• That's a toilet bowl, not a water dish.
• Isn't it nice how you let me go out in the cold rain to make money so I can buy your cat food and litter and then watch you sleep all day?
  

My Dog's Epulis

Our dog had surgery to remove an epulis from his lower jaw back in 2009. But then it grew back. Here's a picture of the growth as it looked a few weeks after surgery.


It got a bit bigger. Then, with all his chewing, the dog loosened it. And one day I just pulled it off, and it never came back. Unfortunately, the growth that he has now is quite different.

Dog Wisdom

My dog and I communicate even if we don't exchange words.

This morning, he wanted to go outside a second time before I left for work. Sometimes he needs to poop twice in a short period of time. I'd rather spend a little time to indulge him when he asks politely, rather than have him uncomfortable all day or respond to a soiled floor.

Yes, I did write "when he asks politely." That's what he does. He gets up suddenly from his repose and walks up to me and gives me the Humble but Pleading Look, "I'm sorry, it makes me sad, but I need to go outside, please." Sometimes he will bring his plushie squeekie toy.

"Do you want to go Outside, Buddy? Outside? Okay." So we went outside, again.

I know what you're thinking, "That's not a conversation," and "All dogs do that, big deal." But the real conversation didn't start until after we got outside, and I wanted to go back in so I could leave for work.

After pooping, he again rolled around on the grass, rubbing his back and snout into the frost-tainted grass. This cool weather is his favorite time of year. So I wasn't too surprised when he said, "Give me a belly rub."

I nearly walked past him. But then I thought to myself, "Why not?" He's nine years old. We should enjoy each other while he's still healthy. "Besides," I said to myself, "I can get a good look at his tumor." He had a benign tumor removed from a broken tooth last month, a fibrous carcinoma of the tooth. But it needs to be looked at in case it grows back. I can get a good look at it when he's lying on his back.

So after about a minute of belly rubbing and saying "Silly dog," I stopped. "Okay, let's take a look at that tooth." It was definitely back. I could see it clearly from this angle -- a red, chickpea of gum tissue seeping out around the sliver of the upper tooth that remained.

"Oh Buddy, we have to do something about that. The doctor said he would remove the tooth this time. Or we could do radiation. Which one do you want?"

In reply, he said, "I'll show you what I need," and he ran over to the brush pile to fetch a stick. But he all he could find on the ground was a skinny little twig. I walked over. He watched expectantly while I broke off a 16" length of oak branch that was about as thick as a hotdog.

This time I didn't taunt him with it, offering it and then pulling it away just before he grabs it. No, I simply handed it to him. His cure. He took it, walked a short distance and lay down to chew it.

I watched, expecting to see blood ooze onto the splintered wood, but surprisingly there was none. I grew cold as I stood over him watching. Leaves blew around us and fell from trees while he crushed the stick with his jaws. But I let him have his chew. Either it would cure the problem, or at least he'd enjoy himself.

After he chewed a few inches off the end, I roused ourselves, and I hurried inside. He followed reluctantly and came inside about a minute later.

Maybe he knows what he needs to help his mouth. White oak bark can help with inflamed gums. Perhaps he'd do better with a birch branch, whose bark contains Betulin, which is effective against tumors. Or maybe willow would be a good choice. Willow bark contains salicylates, which can act like aspirin. Native Americans used willow bark to relieve toothaches and other pain. I suspect he somehow knows this. He used to always chew sticks. But ever since his tooth broke, I've kept the sticks away from him.

But I think the dog knows best.

Conversations With Daughter

"Dad, do you think cats would make good drivers?"

"You're asking if they would be good at driving a car? No, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"It's their brains. They don't have the right kind of brain. They react too much to any little motion. They'd get overwhelmed."

"What if they had a human brain?"

"Whose brain?"

"Mine."

"No."

Dave Barry on Dogs

The last thing you want is a smart dog. ... You want a dog that considers you brilliant because of all the amazing things you can do, such as open a door; a dog that worships you as a treat-dispensing god; a dog that, when you have an intestinal flu and reek like a Hong Kong dumpster because you have not showered or changed pajamas or brushed your teeth in four days, and you are crouched in the bathroom spewing random fluids and semi-solids from every orifice you possess, your dog is right there next to you, wagging its tail and licking you and just generally doing everything it can to communicate the message: "Wow! You have never smelled more interesting!"

From I'll Mature When I'm Dead : Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood.