Book Review: “I’m Fine: A Practical Guide to Managing Your Emotions,” by Rob Nugen

This is a book written for men, and written by a man describing his life experience.  It's a book that every man should read.  I know that sounds cliché; in fact one of the endorsements says "A must read for every man"

I liked how the book was structured.  Between the foreword and closing words, it's divided into five parts, which are broken into chapters and subdivided into small sections.  I was able to read just one section if I was lacking time, and then when I returned to it, I was able to get re-oriented easily.

I expected to read the first part, or a few chapters, and then post a preliminary review.  And that review would have consisted of what I just wrote previously, plus a comment on how easy it is to read and the lack of typos.  And then I'd read through the rest quickly before "Paying it Forward."

But then I started to identify with the author's life experiences.  This is what went through my head:

I'm not the only one who tried to please everyone.  I'm not the only one who did something foolish while driving my parents' car.  I'm not the only one who endured demeaning treatment from a high school girl.  I'm not the only one who thought "My life is over..." after hearing my partner say she's pregnant.  (Except in my case I said it out loud.)

I started therapy a few years ago.  At the beginning of each session, my therapist would ask, "So, how do you feel?"  And I'd reply, "I dunno, okay I guess."  Gradually I learned that the stomach pains I experienced prior to a meeting with the boss weren't caused by food; they evolved from a severe aversion to episodes of humiliation.  When I was laid off and finally walked out of the building, the weight of all that lifted.

The author's discussion of fear was my favorite part of the book.  As I wrote on my blog¹, fear can point you in the direction of growth.  But if you succumb to fear, it can hold you back.  So it was easy for me to accept the author's idea that other "emotions are messengers, not problems."²

The author encourages his readers to pass the book along to another man.  But I'm not sure I'm willing to give up my copy so quickly.

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¹ https://square--peg.blogspot.com/2013/06/fear-as-ally.html
² https://www.robnugen.com/en/books/im-fine/

This review was posted to LibraryThing on 2026-02-11.
I received a free signed copy of this book in order to write this review.

Post Op Brain Fog, or Self Abasement?

After Thursday’s surgery, I was advised to avoid making any important or legal decisions within 24 hours of the operation.  Is this because the anesthesia can cause cognitive impairment?  Or is it because the patient can be easily manipulated?

I think both are true.  

I’m old and recently laid off, so naturally I wonder if I can get a good-paying job in my technology-dense field.  So I began to fall victim to my negative self-talk.  On the second day after the surgery, I felt hopeless and despondent about ever recovering financially or cognitively.  It’s as if my darker side began to take advantage of my vulnerable state.  Fortunately I’m climbing out of that well of despair.  And as an added boost I just came across this Psychology Today article, which should help: “Rewire Your Brain and Create a Kinder Inner Dialogue”¹.

I’ve been taking an online course, but I haven’t noticed any degradation in my thought process.  Then again, my thought process wasn’t so great to start with!

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¹https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/everyday-resilience/202504/rewire-your-brain-and-create-a-kinder-inner-dialogue

Mood Enhancers

Last year I struggled with forgetfulness, fatigue, brain fog and an overwhelming sense of hopelessness.  I got in quickly for a neuropsychological exam, which resulted in a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder and ruled out any kind of cognitive decline.

I had already been taking Nuvigil and had been using a CPAP machine to reduce the number of apnea events I’d have every night.  But that wasn’t enough.  So I started Effexor¹ and Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)².

About six months later I noticed that the sense of hopelessness was gone, and my mood was much improved.  Why?  Was it just the Effexor?  Was CBT helping?  Was there something else that I did to bring about change?

I decided to make a list of all interventions:

• Mindfulness – Staying in the Moment
• Caring for Pets
• Tending to Houseplants
• SAD Therapy Light, which I call my happy light.
• Avoiding Refined Carbs
• Keeping a Gratitude Jar
• Smiling
• Walks in Nature
• Crisp breeze on my face on a sunny winter day
• Listening to Uplifting Music
• Metallica for a shot of high energy
• “Mood Improve” Probiotic
• Medications, such as Effexor and Nuvigil
• Being creative
• Keeping to a Regular Sleep Schedule and Rising Without an Alarm
• Walking and standing with a perfect posture
• Ice Crystals on a frosty or snow-covered lawn
• Community Support, including Online Groups³

Look for more information on some of these items in upcoming posts.

At first I discounted the role that CBT had in my improvement.  But it turns out that CBT was responsible for a few of the items on this list, especially Mindfulness and the other living-in-the-moment experiences listed above.  In fact, there even is a Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy⁴.

On the other hand, I usually experience good mood in Late Winter and Early Spring.  It’s very possible that my improvement is due to seasonal changes.  Now that we’re beyond Summer Solstice, I’ll be able to test this idea.

What do you do to improve mood?

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¹https://medlineplus.gov/druginfo/meds/a694020.html

²https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy

³Such as https://mysupportforums.org

⁴https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness-based_cognitive_therapy

2025-11-07 Remove extraneous bracket and tab infront of Metalica. Add ",which I call my happy light."

Ask Amy

The letter to Ask Amy from the mom of a 4-year-old girl that described how her daughter cut her own bangs and then lied about it¹ reminded me of my own hair cutting incident.

I was sick and tired of how my mom’s friends would fawn over my eyelashes.  “Oh, how long and pretty they are!”  “I’d give anything to have eyelashes like that!”  And so, you guessed it, I cut them.

At the dinner table, my mom noticed immediately and reacted strongly: “Did you cut your eyelashes!?  Why did you do that?  You could’ve poked your eye out!”  And so on.

Frankly I was surprised and insulted.  Surprised because I thought they were my eyelashes; why should it be anyone’s business?  And the “poke your eyes out” remark was utterly insulting.  I was anything but a klutz.  I was a “Little Professor” type of boy, always carefully coloring inside the lines, and I (literally) had excellent hand-eye coordination.

Two takeaways here are: children rarely are given the credit they deserve; and showing overt attention to a child can have unexpected consequences.

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¹https://www.chicagotribune.com/2024/04/26/ask-amy-sex-offender-lives-in-the-neighborhood/

Dear APA -- Let's Rethink ADD

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. (Attributed to Albert Einstein by author Matthew Kelly)

This is an open letter to the American Psychiatric Association (APA), which came up with the term “Attention Deficit Disorder”...

How dare you!  I see myself as Perception Enhanced.  You so-called normal people have a deficit.  I can’t imagine how you can endure such a severely filtered experience.

My inability to block out distraction is my Superpower.  While I might not catch every word said to me in a conversation, I’ve listened to five other simultaneous conversations and determined that the car trouble that the woman is describing is probably due to a clogged fuel filter.  I’m referring to the woman in the red dress who’s standing by the window who’s been nursing the same drink for 45 minutes.

Also I’ve been hearing excess noise from the vacuum pump in the factory.  It sounds like the bearings are wearing out.  It’s been getting progressively worse over the last few weeks.  Why doesn’t anyone else know about it?

I’m wondering which of my idiot coworkers put the toaster oven right under the paper towel dispenser.  It’s an obvious safety hazard!

As well, why is the clock on the fax machine 1 hour 15 minutes ahead?  I can understand how it can be exactly 1 hour ahead as we’ve switched away from Daylight Savings Time 8 weeks ago.

What if Perception Enhanced individuals were in the majority?  You APA folks who are Perception Deficient would have to live in our world.  Suppose I were your boss: “Why didn’t you advise that woman to have her car’s fuel filter checked?  Why didn’t you have the pump serviced before it failed?  Didn’t you notice the sound it was making?  Relocate that toaster oven before it starts a fire!  Why haven't you fixed the clock on this fax machine yet?”

Anyway APA, instead putting so much energy into devising derogatory terms for us, tweaking diagnostic criteria, and developing treatments and therapies, you should direct most of your resources into changing society.  Promote acceptance of Perception Enhanced people and help us find ways to be rewarded for our strengths.

Does Getting Paid to Do Something Take Away the Enjoyment of That Thing?

Does it seem to you that when you get paid to do something that you love to do, the activity then becomes less enjoyable?

Here's an excerpt from "Swearing is good for you: the amazing science of bad language," by Emma Byrne:

Give most children crayons and paper and they'll happily draw for the fun of it; the intrinsic reward of doing something creative keeps them happy and interested.  But as soon as you pay children for their art, their drawings get sloppy and less detailed.  They also don't seem to enjoy the process of drawing anywhere near as much as when they are offered a treat in return for each piece produced.  In studies, children who know they will be rewarded for their drawings spend only about half as much time playing with crayons as those children who aren't offered a reward.

-page 124

The author references M. R. Lepper, D. Greene, and R. E. Nisbett, "Undermining Children's Intrinsic Interest with Extrinsic Reward: A Test of the "Overjustification" Hypothesis.  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 28 (1973), 129-137. doi:10.1037/hoo35519

Pam Grout's Red Pill Corollary

I just finished reading Pam Grout's E-Cubed, which features ten "experiments" on the law of attraction, a subject I view with much skepticism.

I tried the "Red Pill Corollary" first.  In this experiment, the reader attempts to encounter eight items, which are listed at the link.  I'd been hearing the belly laughs (the first item) while reading that section of the book, because my daughter had a friend over for a social visit.  So I wondered if it might actually work this time.

The number 222 came a bit unexpectedly.  I was supposed to drive my daughter to another friends house so that she would arrive at 2pm.  But we were running late, about 20 minutes late.  So I wondered if we might arrive at the house at 2:22pm.  But alas, we were still on the road at 2:21 and still several minutes away.  So I figured I'd look again at the clock in another minute.  But the next time I looked, the clock was at 2:23pm.  So I missed it.  But after I dropped off my daughter and while I was driving back home, I glanced at the side of the road right at a sign for house number 222, which I just happened to be driving by.  I enjoyed that little twist of fate from The Universe.

Unfortunately, the other six items were not to be discovered.  Well, technically I suppose the billboards I saw had messages for me -- they're designed to have messages for everyone.  But the messages I saw did not seem directed at me, as the author's text implies.

I suppose there was a smiling baby on at least one of the Christmas cards we received, and if I wanted to, I could've looked through them again to find it.  But I don't think this experiment is supposed to work that way.

But anyway, the other items never showed up.  I'm sure they'll show up for some people, just based on probability.  And nearly everyone will see a few items, as I did.  But we probably won't bother to report our failures.  However, those who saw all eight items probably will report their successes.  And so, the experiment will appear to be a success, en masse.

Choosing a Career

When I was in high school I took a personality test that was designed to help me figure out what college to go to and what to major in.  The results suggested that I might enjoy going to a college in Oregon to study forestry.  I recall that I responded that I like the outdoors, hiking, trees and solitude, plus I was good in math and science.

But I did not follow the advice.  First, it sounded ludicrous.  Second, I didn't want to move from home.   Yet today, if I woke with a new life studying trees, I probably wouldn't mind.

Two of the books that I'm "currently reading" show up on the side bar of this blog.  They are really for my daughter, who is expected to graduate high school in about two and a half years.

• "What Color Is Your Parachute? 2009: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers"
• "Refuse to Choose!: Use All of Your Interests, Passions, and Hobbies to Create the Life and Career of Your Dreams"

They're more for job hunters and career changers -- folks who are burned out and need to try something different. "What Color Is Your Parachute?..." in particular contains a great deal of information about job hunting -- writing resumes and cover letters, networking, that sort of thing.  But I thought they would be helpful in choosing a first career.  The 8-pedalled rose chapter in "What Color Is Your Parachute?..." alone is worth the price of the book to those who need career guidance.

One other resource mentioned in "What Color Is Your Parachute?..." is the "Self-Directed Search," or SDS.  This is an online assessment tool that helps you figure out what your Holland Code is.  The SDS is not free; the test and report cost $9.95.

There's also a free test that you can take here: http://personality-testing.info/tests/RIASEC.php. In fact, I just took this test before I cleaned up the previous paragraph.  My results show that my Holland Code is IAS, meaning Thinking (I), Creating (A), Helper (S).  I got a little bar graph, too:

Knowing one's self is the first step in choosing a rewarding career.  I hope this information is helpful!

Children With Empty Minds

A few years ago there was a blogger who called herself Azalea Faye, who just gave birth to a girl.  She was one of about 10 million mommy bloggers.

In one post¹ she railed against Disney, vowing that she'd never let her daughter be exposed to the gaggle of Disney princesses.  The gist of it was that she wanted her daughter's mind to be empty rather than filled with ridiculous fairy tales.  I was intrigued by this idea.  My daughter was already five years old or so, and I wondered what she'd be like if her mind were empty.  And I was glad it wasn't.

Classic Disney movies such as "Cinderella" and "Snow White" expose children to many advanced themes such as jealousy and unfairness, providing a foundation for understanding moral issues.  They teach children patience and honesty.  The settings inspire wonder in the child, and the issues tend to be black and white, which make the stories better suited for a child's developmental level.

Unfortunately, that post, and the blog it was featured on, is no longer available.  But I wonder how that girl is faring.  By now she must've entered elementary school, and she's probably hearing about Disney princesses from her friends.  Or is she having trouble making friends, because she has less in common with the typical girl than her peers?

What do you think about Disney princesses?  What should you fill a child's mind with?

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¹ "Disney and My Opinion" whose URL once was http://azaleafaye.wordpress.com/2009/08/31/disney-and-my-opinion/

Mindless Games

At first I thought to title this "Mind Games."  But that phrase has negative connotations of manipulating another person.  In my case, there's no other person.  And it's not so much manipulation as it is boredom management.

The gist is that when I do something that requires little thought, my mind plays games.

For example, when I take my lunch time walk, my mind will seize upon a thought or idea and chew upon it as if were a wad of gum.  When I visit the local cemeteries, I'll read off the names on the markers as would a school teacher calling out names for attendance.  The teacher is invariably an annoyed, bored and insensitive middle-school gym teacher, one who likes to crack jokes and one for whom English was not his best subject.

"Stein" "Gladstone" "Cohen" "Ginsberg" "Fleiss"  "What the hell is this, a synagogue?  You guys wanna send out for some bagels or sumthin?"  I've had gym teachers like that, actually.

Cleaning out the litter boxes, I'll be entertained by various scenes from "The Karate Kid."  It probably started by associating the drudgery with all those chores that Danny had to do in exchange for learning karate, such as waxing cars (wax on, wax off), painting the fence, and scrubbing the deck.  But now, arbitrary scenes from the movie (and its successor) effortlessly pop into my head.

Does your mind do this, too?  What chores are most likely to get your mind chewing gum?  What do you think about?

Status of the Pee-Meister

Here's a followup to Conversing With Cat, the post about the cat with litterbox aversion that peed in the bowl of dry cat food.

I added a fifth litterbox to our household.  I put it on the main level in the master bedroom.  The other four boxes are in the lower level.

We have to keep the bedroom door closed now.  Otherwise our huge dominant cat tries to pee in it and often misses.  I don't mind if he misses the box in the laundry room.  The floor is concrete and it's out of the way enough that we can cover the pee with extra cat litter.  But this new box is right next to the bed, in front of the nightstand.  So the Pee-meister sits outside the door and meows until someone opens it for him.  Or sometimes I'll carry him into the room if I sense that he needs to go.

It's a solution in that he no longer pees where he shouldn't.  But he's still wary of the other cats.  And they still like to stalk him when he walks the long hallway after using the new litterbox.  And he needs human intervention when he needs to go.

The ultimate solution is for him to get over his aversion to the litterboxes in the lower level.  Not sure how to do that, except perhaps by moving the new (and presumably much cleaner) box downstairs and putting one of the old boxes in the bedroom.  If he's associated the smell of the old box to his overall aversion, then he might avoid the box in the bedroom and seek out the new box in the lower level.

I'll keep you posted.

Conversing with Cat

I watched in utter disbelief Friday morning as my favorite cat squatted on the bowl of dry food and peed.  It was a long drawn out pee, as if he'd been holding it in all day.  And because the bowl was small and the stream forceful, the pee shot out behind him onto the floor, forming a rivulet that meandered in front of (and under) the stove.

Ordinarily this kind of undesired behavior is not tolerated in any household.  Most cat owners would intervene immediately.  But I had sympathy for this cat.  I've been in very similar "urgent pee" situations, and I'd be rather upset and indignant if, during my moment of ecstatic release, someone were to scream at me or spray me with a water bottle or wrap me up in a towel and toss me into a bathtub.  So I watched in rapt fascination for the 45 seconds it took for his bold effluence to taper down to nothing.

Besides, I was certain there was a very good reason for the new behavior -- one that would be addressed with a caring intelligent solution, as opposed to disciplinary measures.

One might jump to the conclusion that he's sick of the food.  No, that wasn't it.  Well, to him it's not really food.  He eats the dry food only when it's mixed with wet food.  So the first thing I surmised is that he was avoiding the litterboxes.  Indeed, the other three cats have been acting aggressively toward him.  The morning ritual was that after they ate their morning meal, and moseyed downstairs to do their business, they would chase Pee-meister back upstairs in a fury of hissing.  Now even the timid new cat is involved in the chase.  So he must have decided to stay away from the litterboxes.  For how long, I have no idea -- probably a full day.

I noticed afterwards that he was looking intently in the direction of the basement stairs.  So I carried him calmly and gently downstairs, and we walked over to the litterboxes.  I placed him on the floor.  He went immediately toward the nearest box and Pooped.

The next day he did the exact same thing, only this time I wasn't there to witness it.  Again he pooped as soon as I placed him near the boxes.  And again this morning.

Experts say that you should have at least one litterbox for each cat plus one extra.  Also the litterboxes should be on all levels of the house.  And they should be placed in various locations.  We break all three recommendations.  We have only four litterboxes for our four cats.  They are all downstairs.  Three of the litterboxes are tucked into an alcove that once served as a dry bar.  If some cat bully wanted to make another cat's life miserable, it would be easy for him just to prowl near the narrow stairs and pounce on the other cat during every bathroom break.

On Sunday there was not a repeat pee incident (or would that be a re-peet?).  Here are the actions I took:

1. Carry the cat to the litterboxes twice each day.
2. Use the piss-bowl for water instead of dry food.
3. Switch to a previous brand of dry food (which he sort of eats) placing into a different bowl.

I will also somehow install a new litterbox in the upstairs master bedroom.  (I write "somehow" because the dog sleeps in the bedroom at night, and he's partial to the delicacies that cats leave in their litterboxes.  He really enjoyed the pee-marinated kibble.)  I will also fully trim the bully-cat's claws so that instead of deadly daggers of death, they will be merely blunt bully boogers.

One lingering concern I have is that Pee-meister might be sick.  The humans from Biblical times had no qualms about ostracizing and attacking the weak, diseased and decrepit, so I wonder if our cats are this way, too.  Fortunately, Pee-meister is still eating and drinking well.

Stay tuned to this cat channel for more on this topic!

Stay in Balance

Every year as Thanksgiving approaches, I recall the "Allan incident."

Allan was someone I worked with more than twenty years ago.  He was the ultimate miser, the one for whom the "gluing a coin to the floor" practical joke was intended.  Allan would pry the coin off the floor. He would run out of gas going out of his way to find the cheapest gas station.

I didn't actually work with him, though.  He and I worked for the same small company, and he was in a different department.  At the time of the incident, the company was growing and starting to prosper.  One November it wanted to reward us for the hard work we did in earlier years when we were working overtime without pay and sometimes dealing with bounced paychecks.  So the company bought and distributed frozen turkeys to all of us.

It was a nice gesture, and even though I was vegetarian at the time, I accepted it and gave it to my brother and sister-in-law.  Allan, on the other hand, was indignant and refused the turkey because it wasn't kosher.  To mollify him, the company gave him $15 in exchange for the turkey.

John the machinist heard about this, and he knew how cheap Allan was.  So he decided to have some fun at his expense.

"Hey Allan," John called.  "I heard you don't want your turkey.  I'll give you twenty bucks for it."

Allan's eyes lit up at the thought of making a profit on the formerly disagreeable turkey.  I didn't witness the outcome, but I heard he tried to buy back his turkey in order to flip it to gain $5.

This is a true story even if the main character is larger than life.  And there are distasteful aspects of humanity demonstrated here: Allan's ingratitude and greed.  And John was reprehensible too, although perhaps he thought he would teach Allan a lesson.  It's certainly not a nice story for the season.  But hopefully at least one Allan-like person might read this and be motivated to improve.  After all, John easily manipulated Allan, pushed him off balance.

Do all of us, in fact, have a little bit of Allan inside?  Maybe it's not money that motivates us.  Maybe it's food, fame, love (or sex), or an overwhelming need to help someone.  Whatever it is, know that the Johns of the world can use it to push us off balance.

Stay in Balance

Resources for "Your Brain at Work"

Here are links to online resources that are cited in "Your Brain at Work," by David Rock.

For research behind the book: http://www.your-brain-at-work.com/

Neuroscience of leadership: http://www.neuroleadership.org/

Information on brain-based coaching programs: www.ResultsCoaches.com

School for children K - 5: www.TheBlueSchool.org

Online tests and training exercises: www.MyBrainSolutions.com

Author's website: www.DavidRock.net

Book Review: Why Can't I Change?

The book "Why Can't I Change? How to Conquer Your Self-Destructive Patterns" serves as three books in one.  First, as the title suggests, it's a self-help guide.  Second, it's a book on parenting.  Third, it's a book on interpersonal relationships.

The self-help aspect of the book describes attachment theory.  It uses this theory to draw a connection between how we react to stress and emotional situations today and how accessible and responsive to us our earliest caregivers were in the past.  This connection brings us insight into our behavior.  Once aware of our needs, we can circumvent misunderstandings and bring resolution to conflicts.

The aforementioned connection to our caregivers is what also makes this a helpful parenting book.  Those of us who don't want our kids to turn out as screwed up as we are can benefit from knowing how to respond to displays of emotion.  (Hint, not with, "Oh you'll get over it;" rather, "It's upsetting that the boy dumped you.")  The author gives us hope -- we can repair neglectful parenting fairly easily.

And because everyone we deal with, (boss, coworker, spouse, classmate, teacher, etc.) may not have had the most ideal parenting, we gain a bit more understanding, tolerance and perhaps even compassion when dealing with difficult people.

One concern I had is that the author doesn't discuss neurological disorders.  Her description of the "avoidant attachment" type could also describe someone with mild autism.  We are left to ponder whether autism is the result of avoidant mothers ("refrigerator mothers.")  A brief statement explaining that attachment theory applies only to neurotypical individuals should be included.

Overall the book is easy to read.  The author deftly combines theory with anecdotes from her own life and that of her patients.  Exercises for self-discovery and behavior modification are included.  Spelling and grammar are very good with only two minor errors.

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• This review was posted to LibraryThing on 2012-09-15.
• More reviews can be found here.
• I received a free copy of this book in order to write this review.

A Search For Meaning

About a year and a half ago, Kerry wrote about Dr. Viktor Frankl's book, ”Man’s Search for Meaning”. Being the wise-ass that I am, I asked whether it's better to actually find meaning rather than just search for it.

But the more I thought about it, the more I thought that the search may be better than the finding. What if the meaning turns out to be that we're an accident or mistake? Wouldn't it be better to believe that we were lovingly crafted from some All-Powerful Being?

Isn't it better to look at the presents under the tree and wonder what's inside? Or would you rather open them and discover a tie, an ugly sweater, and a fruit cake?

Blessings to you during this holiday season.

Animal Personality Test

My result for The Animal Personality Test ...

Beaver

I scored 44% Otter, 25% Lion, 75% Beaver, and 47% Golden Retriever!

"How was that done in the past?"

You're a beaver. Beavers tend to be intellectually busy, always questioning why things are the way they are, and how stuff works. You think logically, and tend to be less emotional. You may be very organized, putting things where you know you'll be able to find them later, or use an "inner filing system" to record experiences. Beavers like to take things apart... and take people apart as well, making them some of the toughest critics. They set high standards for others, and themselves.

In relationships, beavers are advised to avoid the spontaneous, risk taking otter. They don't always understand each other very well. Instead, they are advised to pair up with a laid back Golden Retriever or an adventurous Lion.

Attention Deficit Disorder Quiz

Results of My Attention Deficit Disorder Quiz: 58

You appear to be suffering from a moderate amount of attention and concentration difficulties according to your responses to this self-report questionnaire. You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, it would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further diagnosis from a trained mental health professional soon to rule out a possible attention disorder.

Stress Management -- Autogenics Training

"Autogenics training teaches you to create a feeling of warmth and heaviness throughout your body.... [As a result you can experience] a profound state of physical relaxation, bodily health, and mental peace."

Learn autogenics training for free at this website. It's simple to do. Treat yourself!

Consciousness and Happiness

In popular Western culture we are taught that the way to achieve happiness is to change our external environment to fit our wishes. But this strategy doesn't work. In every life, pleasure and pain, gain and loss, praise and blame keep showing up, no matter how hard we struggle to have only pleasure, gain, and praise. Buddhist psychology offers a different approach to happiness, teaching that states of consciousness are far more crucial than outer circumstances.

More than anything else, the way we experience life is created by the particular states of mind with which we meet it. If you are watching a high school soccer playoff and your daughter is the nervous goalie, your consciousness will be filled with worry, sympathy, and excitement at each turn of the game. If you are a hired driver waiting to pick up someone's kid, you will see the same sights, the players and the ball, in a bored, disinterested way. If you are the referee, you will perceive the sights and sounds in yet another mode. It is the same way with hearing Beethoven, pulling weeds, watching a Woody Allen movie, or visiting Mexico City. Pure awareness becomes colored by our thoughts, emotions, and expectations.

- Jack Kornfield in The Wise Heart, page 49.