When Getting Ahead Means Not Falling Behind

For many years my life has been one of working, eating and sleeping long before the pandemic.  The only "going out" I'd ever do is for errands.

Today I am officially self-isolating.  The only difference between then and now is that now I work from home instead of at the workplace.  My errands are not restricted (at least not the ones I do.)

When I saw gas prices plummet a few weeks ago¹ and then learned that I'd get a 2% raise, I became hopeful that maybe I'd be able to save some money and not have to live paycheck to paycheck (albeit with a small cushion of savings).  As well it was reported that car insurance companies would be mailing checks to its customers who are driving less and getting into fewer crashes.  All that, in combination with a CARE act payment, got me thinking that I might be able to get ahead before having to pay off massive student load debt that has been deferred to November.  And speaking of student loan debt, the government set interest rates to 0% for their loans.  What a relief!

But just as quickly as the good news accumulated, it all came crashing down.  First I learned that my employer will be cutting salaries and maybe even reducing hours for some employees.  It’s not that business is bad.  Actually it’s just the opposite; customers are increasing orders.  However, the CEO believes that things will get bad very quickly.  The current uptick in sales is due to customers wanting to “pull in” and build inventory in the event of a supply chain failure.  So my employer is being proactive to sooth the fears of investors.  After all, the aristocrats must never be inconvenienced!

And then when the student loan interest rate was set to zero, I suddenly found that I had to make my first payment next week.  This payment is about 30% more than my housing expense!

And on top of that, my term life insurance policy lapsed due to late payment.  They’re so busy responding to death claims (unfortunately) that I can’t make any progress on getting it reinstated.  (True I was a dumbass for making the payment so late….)  So now I’m extremely anxious I might die of coronavirus and leave my loved ones in the poor house.  Plus I was just diagnosed with prostate cancer, so who knows if they will agree to reinstate me, or even if I can even get another insurance policy?

And of course most of my retirement savings is in equities, which have dropped sharply in value.

Well, I did manage to re-request the deferment from the student loan servicer, so I managed to plug one of the leaks in the dyke.

It’s at times like these that I start to catastrophize:

• What if an appliance fails and needs replacing?
• What if a tree falls on the house (or a neighbor’s house)?
• What if the car needs major repair work?
• What if I lose my job?

So then I need to breathe, bring myself back to the present and think of all the good fortune I have.

Hope all is well with you!

---

¹The drop in the cost of gasoline was due initially to a feud between Saudi Arabia and Russia.  The policy of self-isolation came later and further lowered prices due to a decrease in demand.