Ordering Out

My wife is so weird in some ways.

For example, she ordered Chinese food, and I’ve just picked it up.  Normally, when food arrives, the bag is ripped open, and people descend upon it.  Then they start to scarf their meals like a pack of hungry wild dogs.

Not my wife.  She continues doing whatever she was doing before the food arrived.  It’s a lot like how a cat will feign disinterest in dinner and then sneak in later to gulp down the food.

I can’t abide this behavior.  So I’ve decided to leave her alone and write this blog post about it.  Let’s see how long it takes for her to start her meal. 

Is this difference in behavior a male/female thing?  Is it because she’s from New England and I’m from New York, where we open a box of pizza, take a piece, fold it in half, and rip out a huge bite while walking away, causing painful burns on the roof of our mouths in the process?

I came home with the food at least 15 minutes ago.  She asked just now, “Do you want to eat with me in the living room?”  “Okay, sure.”   Then she walked in the opposite direction of the kitchen.

Now she’s back in my office with a fistful of papers that need to be filed.  She’s talking about hiring a new helper.

[tick, tick, tick…] Now, finally, I hear her in the kitchen, more than twenty minutes after I’ve set the Chinese food onto the table.  But still there’s no indication that food is on her mind.

It’s as if the food is a visit to the dentist, or a tax return to be filed.  Why is she avoiding it?

I’m shaking my head in total confusion.

[much time passes]

She finally sits down.  Then she abruptly gets up, “I forgot a plate for the cat.”

She sits down again.  Then, once again, she abruptly gets up, “I forgot my drink.”

She sits.  She fidgets a bit, then uses the remote to switch channels.  Commercial.  Switch.  Commercial.  Switch.  Commercial.  All this time she’s still not eating.

Finally she started to eat more than 30 minutes after I came home with the food.