I awake early. It's only about 4:10am, and there's no chance I can fall back to sleep quickly. I get up and go outside wearing nothing but my T-shirt and undershorts.
It's light out already.
I walk to the right side of the house. Something about the trees looks “off.” Then I look up and notice that one of the trees isn't even touching the ground. It's actually a “widow maker” -- a huge branch that broke off and is now hanging in mid air. It's so huge that it's the size of a tree. I make a note of not walking below it from now on.
A truck pulls up in front of the house. It's the landscapers! On a Saturday! And I'm outside in my underwear! I rush inside to hide from them.
It's later in the day. I'm outside with my wife, again on the right side of the house. I point out the widow maker after she walks underneath it. Then I grab a long pole and use it to pull the widow maker down.
Our outdoor party has begun. I get distracted by some young boys next to a white plastic folding table. They want me to drink a soda. I really don't want to, but I don't want to hurt their feelings, so I stall. Then I realize that I can be very entertaining by “preparing myself” to taste-test the soda. I clear my throat, lick my lips and smack them. I do increasingly more bizarre things like humming through my throat and then through my nose. I shake my head vigorously so that my jowls flap about. I hum again though my nose. But then I notice that the humming doesn't stop – I can't make it stop! What great excuse not to drink the soda – a nasal sound that won't go away! I apologize to the boys and walk away.
[As I awoke, I found out that the humming was due to a leak of my CPAP mask. The sound was coming from the silicone seal, which was vibrating.]