This book targets married couples or couples in a committed relationship, one of whom has a chronic illness. However, it seems as far as this book is concerned, the term “relationship” can be expanded to include filial, such as between father and son, for example. Close friendships, too.
The book is very well-structured. The first ten chapters are organized according to the five stages of grieving. Odd-numbered chapters describe the situation and emotions in each stage, while the even-numbered suggest tools to cope. In the latter there’s a tool for the patient and another for the partner.
Chapter 2 (tools and activities for the Denial phase) lacks the important suggestion to maintain medical records, apply for disability immediately, and get a good attorney to handle the appeal. The denial portion of chronic illness might make you think it’s not necessary. But if you wait until you realize you need it, it might be too late and you’ll regret it.
The final, eleventh chapter wraps up the book, but it also discusses what to do if the partner doesn’t want to follow the process. Guidance is undergirded by Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT.
Throughout the book, we follow the experiences of two couples, one of which experienced a sudden setback; the other, a food-loving diabetic whose life-style must altered to accommodate the illness.
The author is well-qualified to write on this topic. She is both a mental health professional and a patient with chronic illness. And she has “a very patient and selfless partner.” In the introduction, she writes briefly about an eleven year search to find a reason for her malaise, during which she was misdiagnosed or told there was nothing wrong.
Although I haven’t read the entire book, the parts I did read are very well-written. The Resources section provides links to helpful websites and podcasts; References, a list of books. Any sources are cited in-line with the text. There is no index.
Every rehabilitation group should have some on hand to give out to newly-diagnosed patients. I wish I had this book 15 years ago.
This review was posted to LibraryThing on 2025-12-26. More reviews can be found here. I received a free signed copy of this book in order to write this review.

