Weighing on my Mind

Anxiety returned suddenly.

The big event occurred on Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving. It was windy, and a large branch broke off the smallest of our pine trees. As it landed, it broke off a branch from a nearby maple tree, but it did not reach the house, and it just missed the little Star Magnolia that we planted when our daughter was about four years old. So there was little damage, and a neighbor cut up the trunk with his chain saw while I cleared the brush.


It's clear that the tree is in a weakened state and should be taken down. I called the electric company because the tree is only a few feet away from their lines. Their general policy is to remove trees that are damaged or weak if they are near power lines. So I was confident that they would get to work on this, and I was guardedly hopeful that they'd recognize that the other trees pose a similar threat. Unfortunately, the arborist that showed up said that they wouldn't bother with it as there are many trees all over our state that are 10 times worse. If it falls and takes out the power lines, they'll just come and put the lines back up.

This episode caused the acute flare up of anxiety. But it's been building due to other issues, such as:

• My wife's under-treated chronic pain.
• The pain doctor's insistence on charging two co-pays for each visit (never mind that he under treats the pain).
• My daughter's inability to fall asleep at night and her tiredness during the day.
• My daughter's apparent depression on the day after Thanksgiving after our family friend left for the airport.
• The dog's tumor.
• The rise in health insurance premiums and co-pay amounts.
• Other rising costs and stagnant income.
• Maintenance work needed on the cars.
  

The stress itself tires me out. Add to that the need to play Mr. Mom when my wife is out of commission. The result is a need to collapse into bed right after supper and stay in bed until just before the cats decide to test whether human tastes better than Tuna Fish.