My wife and I are viewing a home that we're thinking of buying. We're in the master bedroom. I notice that the windows are small and near the ceiling as if this room were in the basement. It is, in fact, mostly underground.
I look closely at the walls to see evidence of moisture -- mold, mildew, peeling paint. The walls look really bad, actually. They appear to be painted cinderblocks, and the paint has pulled away in several areas.
I point this out to the owner who is in the room with us. He denies that the walls are made from cinderblocks. "Oh no, this is poster board." He goes on to say that the child that used this room had pinned lots of things to the walls. That's why there are many tiny holes in the surface, like acoustic ceiling tile. I look again and notice that the grooves that outlined the cinderblocks are now closer together and outline bricks. The poster board has a faux gray brick pattern.
I concede that the wall covering is not bare cinderblock. But I don't trust this owner and I want to know what's underneath. I suspect that it's cinderblock underneath, and that it's in bad shape.
I go to a different wall which is also faux brick. But the "bricks" are different colors -- bold primary colors as one might find in a pre-school classroom. I manage to wedge my finger in between two of the bricks and separate them enough to verify that there are cinderblocks directly behind it.
I'm outside now. My wife has seen the entire house. But I have only looked at the master bedroom. I'd like to go back inside to see the rest of the house, especially the basement. But the owner has a BBQ planned and is expecting company any minute. In fact the caterers are arriving right now.
So reluctantly, we get in the car. My neighbor is with us, too, and I discuss the house with him. I think it's a great buy. But then I wonder what kind of road it's on. At first I think it's on a quiet side road. My neighbor and I try to remember. But then I remember it's on a two-lane state highway, a road that's even busier than our current house. So I'm not too keen on the house anymore.
As we drive, I see a red pickup truck hanging from a tree....
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2 comments:
I'm always dreaming about subterranean things—train tunnels, rooms, etc. The funny thing is, is poster board really preferable to cinder block!!!
Yes, poster board is preferable to cinder block. But in my dream I was obsessively opposed to it. I think I wanted the poster board to be mounted to plywood, which would be nailed to 2x3s, beyond which I wanted a vapor barrier and then the cinder block or (better yet) poured concrete with rebar.
It's a guy thing, I guess.
When I walked through our present house, I took note of the number of electrical outlets in each room and made sure the walls appeared straight. I really perked up when we went into the basement.
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